6 signs your child is being bullied: From fear of going to school to losing valuables

A new study finds that most children don’t speak up about bullying. Experts say parents must look for subtle signs and create trust to protect kids. (Image: Canva)

School-going children may experience bullying, but what makes it even more concerning is that, according to new research, many choose to remain silent and not talk to an adult. A study by the Economic and Social Research Institute, in collaboration with the Department of Children, Disability and Equality, analysed data from the ‘Growing Up in Ireland’ study and revealed a worrying trend.

The findings, based on children aged 9 and 13, both within and outside school, showed that only 40 per cent of 13-year-olds reported incidents of bullying to an adult. Most of them shared one or more experiences of physical aggression, name-calling, or social exclusion, while 37 per cent reported that such behaviour kept recurring.

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What is Bullying?

According to UNICEF, bullying can be identified through three characteristics: “intent, repetition, and power.” A person who bullies does so with the intention of hurting others, causing physical harm or pain through words or behaviour. While boys are more likely to experience physical bullying, girls often face psychological bullying.

Bullying is not an “isolated incident”; rather, it is a repeated pattern of behaviour, often coming from children who are perceived to come from a privileged background or are more powerful physically. Vulnerable children are at a higher risk of being bullied, such as those from poor families, children with disabilities, or migrant children. Bullying can happen both in person and online.

Signs of Bullying

Hesitant to go to school: While reluctance for a day or two is normal, a consistent pattern shouldn’t be ignored as it may point to an underlying issue. If your child frequently complains of being unwell or feels anxious the night before school, it may signal a larger problem.

Shift in temperament: If your child is gradually withdrawing from family activities or social gatherings and becoming quieter, it shouldn’t be overlooked. They may also display the opposite behaviour by becoming defiant or aggressive as a way to vent frustration. Both indicate something is not right.

Unexplained physical injuries: A child returning home with cuts, bruises, or scratches they cannot explain may be a sign of bullying. If this happens often and the child avoids talking about it, don’t let it pass.

Losing personal belongings: If your child frequently loses school items or returns with damaged or destroyed belongings, it may suggest other children are taking or damaging them while bullying.

Asking for or stealing money: If your child starts asking for money repeatedly with excuses, or you notice them stealing, look deeper into the reason. It could mean they are handing over money to bullies to avoid harassment.

Being upset after staying online: If your child seems upset after using their phone or laptop, it may indicate online bullying on the platforms they are active on. Paying close attention to sudden shifts in their mood is important.

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How to prevent bullying? 

Establish a trust relationship: Build an atmosphere of trust and friendliness where children feel comfortable approaching you if they experience anything discomforting. Talk to them frequently, not just about their school activities, but also about their feelings.

Educate them about bullying: Awareness is the first step in preventing unpleasant situations. Educate your child about bullying, not only when it happens to them but also when it happens to others.

Build their self-confidence: Help strengthen your child’s self-confidence by enrolling them in activities they enjoy, and encourage them to be friends with kids who share similar interests.

Inculcate good values: It is important to instil good values in children by leading the way. Show them how to treat others with kindness and empathy, and how to speak up when someone is being mistreated.

Keep a watch: Whether online or offline, keeping an eye on your child’s behaviour and activities can help you identify any problems early on.