‘Constant mockery, snide remarks, mental torture’: How to counter the culture of bullying

Understanding the impact of bullying and how to prevent it. (Image: Freepik)

I have very fond memories of school, but at the same time, some of my darkest days are from there too—when I was relentlessly bullied by a group of classmates in grade 6. From body-shaming me to humiliating me in front of other students, they took pride in tormenting me. While I stood up for myself by complaining to the principal and school counselor, others like me don't always have the same opportunity. I was able to tackle my bullies, but not everyone is lucky enough to do so.

Take Mihir Ahammed, for example. The 15-year-old student from Kochi tragically died by suicide after being taken to the toilet in school, forced to lick the seat, and have his head submerged in it. He made this drastic decision after enduring mental and physical abuse, along with facing colourism due to his dark complexion. But Ahammed is not alone in his struggles.

According to a UNICEF study titled Strategy for Ending Violence Against Children, at least 36 percent of Indian students face harassment and bullying on school campuses—slightly higher than the global average, where at least one in three students aged 13–15 experience bullying.

Devanshu Mandokar, 22, a PR executive based in Pune, also recalls his experiences of being bullied. It started in grade 9 when classmates would make snide remarks about his posture. This bullying extended to his coaching center, where he was relentlessly demeaned. When the situation became unbearable, he wrote a letter to the head of the coaching department. Unfortunately, his attempt to seek help "shattered" his heart. "The coaching head came into the class and read my letter aloud to everyone. All the students erupted in laughter, calling me a 'cry baby' for addressing the bullying, instead of supporting me and reprimanding the responsible students," he recounted. Due to the intense bullying, Mandokar eventually changed schools, where he found peers who were kind to him.

Similarly, Nandini Upadhyay, 25, a musician in Delhi, encountered bullying for the first time when she moved to Slovenia and attended an international school. Her introverted nature made it difficult for her to make friends. "Eventually, some classmates began to mock me passively for being Indian, making fun of my culture and appearance," she recalled. This experience made her question her self-worth, leading to a cycle of self-hatred and low confidence.

Also Read | Healing Space: The bullies among us

But how does bullying impact one's health, and how can we support someone being bullied?

We reached out to experts to understand this.

Dr Rimpa Sarkar, founder of Sentier Wellness, tells moneycontrol.com that bullying has a profound and long-lasting impact on mental health. "Victims often experience heightened levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. The constant fear of being targeted leads to social withdrawal, low self-esteem, and even symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)," she said.

According to a study published in the Indian Journal of Social Psychiatry in 2019, one of the major mental health concerns faced by Indian children is school bullying. "Previous studies have found that differences in physical appearances, such as skin tone, clothing style, and general behavior; cognitive attributes like low intelligence and learning difficulties; and behavioural disorders like attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and conduct problems, put a child at risk for victimization," it stated.

Over time, persistent bullying may contribute to self-harm tendencies and, in severe cases, suicidal thoughts. "For children and adolescents, bullying can significantly affect their emotional development, academic performance, and ability to form healthy relationships. Even those who witness bullying may experience emotional distress, leading to a culture of fear and helplessness," Dr Sarkar added.

Moreover, students begin to dislike their courses or educational institutions, often entering an "avoidant" mode. "They prefer to keep their innermost thoughts and feelings to themselves because they come to believe that the world outside is not a safe place to reveal their vulnerable selves," explained Kshitija Sawant, a psychologist and counselor at Somaiya Vidyavihar University.

Also Read | Are you being electronically bullied? Here’s what you can do to stay safe

How to prevent bullying and support victims

Bullying can severely impact the mental and physical health of the individual. (Image: Freepik)

While bullying is not technically illegal, ragging, an umbrella term, is a criminal offense punishable by imprisonment or a fine. The University Grants Commission (UGC) regulations also curb ragging in higher education institutions. The National Commission for Protection of Child Rights (NCPCR) has also laid out guidelines for schools to manage cases of bullying.

In today's digital age, cyberbullying has emerged as another complex challenge. To address this, the Ministry of Home Affairs launched the Cyber Crime Prevention Against Women and Children (CCPWC) initiative, which provides a helpline and portal for victims to anonymously report cyberbullying.

Despite these laws, much progress is still needed to safeguard children. One step, according to Praneet Mungali, trustee and educationist at Sanskriti Group of Schools, is to focus on reformation, not retribution. "Both the parties involved—the student being bullied and the one doing the bullying—need counseling," he said. "Often, those who bully are dealing with their own insecurities or trying to cope with problems they face elsewhere."

In addition, support from peers, teachers, and parents is crucial in helping victims of bullying. "Peers can create a safe environment by standing up against bullying and offering friendship to those targeted. Teachers play a vital role by fostering a culture of respect and inclusivity in the classroom, addressing bullying behaviour promptly, and providing resources for students to speak out. As for parents, listening to their child without invalidating or dismissing their feelings is very important," advised Divya Srivastava, a counseling psychologist based in Mumbai.

Parents and teachers are often the first line of defense against bullies. To better support children, they should maintain open communication, encouraging them to share their experiences and feelings. "They can also advocate for anti-bullying policies and participate in workshops that promote awareness and intervention strategies," Srivastava recommended.

Overall, bullying prevention requires a multifaceted approach from both individuals and institutions. "To effectively address this issue, institutions must prioritize tailored sensitivity training and compassion-building exercises. This includes not just one-off workshops but ongoing programs that encourage dialogue and understanding among students," Dr Bhushan Chaudhari, consultant psychiatrist at DPU Super Speciality Hospital, Pimpri, Pune, said.

For instance, institutes can implement peer-led discussions where students share their experiences and learn about the importance of diversity and inclusion. Role-playing scenarios can also be beneficial, allowing students to step into each other's shoes and understand the impact of their actions.

Moreover, creating safe spaces—whether through support groups or designated classroom time for discussions on bullying—can empower students to speak up and support one another.

Schools should also consider involving parents in these initiatives to ensure that the message of empathy and respect extends beyond the classroom and into students' homes. "Parents need to recognise the signs of bullying in children, like unexplained injuries, lost belongings, sudden mood changes or reluctance to attend school," cautioned Dr Chaudhari.

While I was able to tackle bullying with the help of my teachers, a strong commitment from all parties is essential to create a culture of respect and safety. Ultimately, all students should feel valued and accepted, regardless of their differences. This is the only way to effectively mitigate bullying and foster a holistic learning environment for those who have been affected.

Disclaimer: This article, including health and fitness advice, only provides generic information. Don’t treat it as a substitute for qualified medical opinion. Always consult a specialist for specific health diagnosis.