Deranged, unhinged, non compos mentis

The growing awareness on mental health issues has helped identify subterranean conditions. And while what afflicts us cannot ail us too much – since we never can judge our own levels of sanity or insanity – the slightest eccentricity or odd behaviour on the part of others does require understanding, empathy and practical methods of coping.

When a close family member or BFF suffers a mental breakdown or their latent psychological issues come to the fore, we may not notice it in any dramatic fashion overnight. There is no personality rulebook available on anyone; everyone learns about the other’s mental landscapes by and by, with interactions over time. But there does come a time when those around cannot live in denial anymore. If someone is behaving erratically and lives in a state of permanent upset, is paranoid or hallucinatory, goes through severe ups and downs, denies what they just said, contradicts themselves constantly, are glaring or gloomy for no reason, then the companion becomes caregiver automatically.

Dementia in older people sometimes leads to temper tantrums, accusations that their near and dear ones are robbing them blind, that their food is being poisoned, etc. Paid help may not react, but blood relatives will baulk. It is difficult not to go emo in the face of baseless allegations.

To enter a madman’s world and see it his way is perhaps the greatest talent of the caregiver. To cater to their whims and fancies as if they make perfect sense, to humour them, and focus single-mindedly on their nutrition and hygiene... In What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, the 1993 American film, a mother’s obesity has her children smartly adapt to the awkwardness arising from her extraordinary grief and girth. The woodwork is falling to pieces under her stamping foot, but they just carry on repairing the floor.

In Please Like Me, the hit Australian TV series, a mother’s suicidal and bipolar tendencies affect her son’s life. His friend circle, skirmishes with boyfriends and tiny giggles go on despite his mother’s demands on his time. There’s an almost cheerful acceptance of her condition. No blame game, no false drama. It is all a part of life, a loved one’s struggle with depression. Some days they need help, some days they don’t.

Psychiatric problems post-pandemic are only starting to show. There is stillness in the air as everyone bravely goes on, not knowing how long, how much. In the UK, children and teens needing help went up in number to 400,000. According to the Royal College of Psychiatrists, 372,438 kids came in for help, up by 28% compared to 2020. In places like India where seeking help could come up against stigma and an absence of relevant aid, where large sections of society are reeling under poverty and starvation, where each one strides into his own personal battlefield alone and lonely daily, extending a helping hand to the needy could just remain in the realm of good intentions.

May our inner King Lear meet with a daughterly Cordelia when we go ranting in the wild, having lost it spectacularly.