Funnycontrol | Sitar Exchange Board of India censures Sinfluencers

SEBI pulls the plug on financial influencers.

Disclaimer: This is a humour column and not intended to be taken seriously

“Something is cooking” is a statement I just read from the the chair person of the Sitar Exchange Board of India. For a moment, I thought she was referring to a crackdown on food influencers. Or foodfluencers as they are called (for the sake of this article and this next joke). Along similar lines we now have finfluencers who usually go down the street like this… La La La La Achooo! Warren Buffet! La La La La Aachoo! I have caught the economic chills but here are 10,000 , from Benjamin Graham. Personally, I have managed to get through about 50-odd pages in the book so far and have not found any mention of finfluencers. Clearly, this is a loss for the late Benjamin Graham.

But if you’re new to the finfluencer game, CharlieMunger_Ritesh235fromRajkotpatligallikepeeche is an acceptable Twitter handle to begin with. Remember a finfluencer is someone who makes money from telling people how much knowledge he has about the markets. And people pay them money to hear how much knowledge they have about the markets. Eventually, the finfluencers end up with all the money. And the investors are left with all the knowledge.

A significant source of revenue for finfluencers is from affiliate links of stock-broking companies. The broking aspect of making you broke is something these finfluencers often fail to mention. This can give them incentives to make their audience trade more than they should. Which means effectively a finfluencer is a dug dealer from whom you are also buying your health insurance. Mercifully, there are no affiliate links for that yet.

Broking houses were giving commissions as high as 10 per cent on derivatives where 90 per cent of investors make losses. Which means 90 per cent of the Indian investors are Indian uncles trading on WhatsApp news. One such Indian uncle was recently censured by the sitar regulator for making very typically uncle-like comments online. Apparently, in his submission, the uncluencer said, “Sundar Sundar woh Haseena badi sundar” followed by “hua mein pagal, bin piya beheka” to explain his actions. To which the regulator responded “Jaa usse bata de” was not a great move and we have to penalise you for that.

Only ’80s kids will remember the draconian MRTP Act to encourage monopolies and discourage competition while claiming the exact opposite on paper. Along similar lines, the sitar regulator has decided that any finfluencer with more than a million followers cannot advertise financial products. So, unfortunately we will miss out on the cultural masterpiece of Hindustani Bhai advertising options and futures in his signature gunfluencer voice.

Personally, when it comes to finfluencing, I recall my days in B-school where as head of Finesse I used to conduct business-newspaper discussions with my juniors every morning. I made attendance compulsory, which means many of them hold a grudge even after 17 years. Which is also how long it will take you to recover your losses if you have been blindly following finfluencers without following their money trail.

To summarise, in the IPL final, I saw Sunil Gavaskar randomly promoting a financial product. I presume the brand felt the little master was best placed to promote short selling. But unless you want to sell your own hard earned money short, I suggest you stop following finfluencers…and start following Funnycontrol for financial advice…. Only $49.99 for my unique trade with laughter course… Last 3 copies left…. Last 2 copies left…. I am all that’s left ….please like, share, subscribe.