Funnycontrol on Shark Tank India, the unreality show for entrepreneurs

'Shark Tank India' is no different from standup comedy of startup entrepreneurs.

To me Shark Tank India is like the Miss India of Startups entrepreneurs. All of them are supposed to say “World Peace” and Mother Teresa. Some might argue it’s more like Roadies with a half-crazed Ashneer Grover screaming from outside the sets “Tereko funding milegi. Tu Bombay Jaega”. Now Shreyan Daga, the youngest winner on the other hand changed it into Bollywood with “Main kisi din Byjus aur Unacademy ko khareed loonga”. Now I’ve also had a childhood dream of buying WayneTech Enterprises from Bruce Wayne just so I can change the name to V-tech Enterprises. Perhaps, he wanted to buy Unacademy just so he could change the name to Ununacademy. But Shreyan mentioned, “As a child, I would dream of being on the stage of the show”, which really makes me feel very sad about his childhood. He said his principal, after she got to know that he earns Rs 18 lakh, called him the "next Ambani". Only time and profitability will tell whether he turns out to be Mukesh or Anil.

He went on to add, “However, I must tell you that I got a few messages from employees of those companies asking me if they could join me. They shared how they don’t like the work culture there.” Which tells you more about the work culture at Byjus than it does about Shreyan Daga. When asked about reactions to his buyout claims he said, “Nobody expected a young boy to say that, they were shocked. Even a few in public were amused by it.” I am definitely one of those few in the public who is amused by it.

He put on his Linkedin-post sunglasses and said, “I think being on Shark Tank India is my certificate and my degree. I don’t need a formal one anymore.” Inspired by him, Salman Khan also said, “Bigg Boss is my certificate and my degree. I don’t need to do acting any more.” Tomorrow we can expect Hugh Laurie to start doing surgeries saying, “House MD is my certificate and my degee. I don’t need to go to medical school any more”.

As for the judges, I must admit if someone came to me and said, “We want you to judge a reality show, and you will be a Shark,” I would only presume this is a company where the HR department’s engagement activities have gone completely out of hand. The show is modelled on the US version of Shark Tank, because originality is a very Indian trait. One can see the same originality among our startup entrepreneurs as well. Especially on their Instagram reels.

There has been a lot of criticism that most of the judges themselves are leading large losses in their own startups. Vineeta Singh’s Sugar cosmetics has seen losses triple over FY22 from FY21. Perhaps, the make-up is applied to the books as well. Former Shark Tank India judge Ashneer Grover has featured in more memes and viral leaked audios than in the profitability leagues. Anupam Mittal of Shaadi.com must feel right at home as a judge given the show is literally a startup version of Netflix’s Matchmaking. With each judge fancying him/her self as Sima Aunty. Lenskart posted a consolidated loss of Rs 100-plus crore in FY 22 suggesting that, perhaps, founder Peyush Bansal is putting the Lens before the Kart. Cardekho founder is also one of the judges who sometimes points to the Rs 246 crore loss in FY21-22 with “car baad mein, pehle humaare losses dekho”.

Overall, the criticism is that the show elevates fancy valuation hustlers over genuine profit-making entrepreneurs. But enough about the companies who try to convince me I should charge less than a comedian who has more YouTube views. As a standup comedian, I can say that the Indian standup comedy circuit is also a lot like Shark Tank India. But the only valuation metric that stands the test of time is laughter.