‘In Mumbai, I was only allowed to audition for south Indian roles’: The Family Man & Aattam actor Zarin Shihab

It took an Aattam (The Play) for many to jog their memories and connect the actor to The Family Man which was her debut. Her brief appearance as a naïve nurse who gets seduced by a terrorist didn’t go unnoticed, that too in a series headlined by some of the finest talents in cinema.

Anand Ekarshi’s Aattam is set in the backdrop of a theatre group in Kerala. The troupe consists of 12 men, who are struggling with their day jobs and a girl who considers them as family. An untold incident one night unravels the latent misogyny and patriarchy embedded in these men, leading to a stunning closure.

A few minutes into the conversation I realised that in reality, Zarin Shihab personifies her most lauded celluloid character Anjali (Aattam). She is blunt, easy-going, progressive, grounded, and seems very much in charge of her life. Not unlike Anjali. For someone so young (in her late 20s), Shihab seems to have already figured out her life. Shihab’s Instagram stories are flooded with raving posts about Aattam and her performance. For Shihab, this acknowledgment also means she can take a break from auditions and even has the privilege of being called for “Look tests” now.

Zarin absorbs Anjali’s inner conflicts and pain with the skill of a practiced actor, standing on her own in the company of established theatre actors. There is an ease with which she inhabits the complexities of Anjali, who feels violated and betrayed by the same men whom she thought were family. With the film unexpectedly running into packed theatres, the actor spoke about the film’s making and more. Edited excerpts:

When did you know you wanted to be an actor?

It all started when I joined IIT Madras for humanities. I remember feeling restless as this was the first time I had to forge an identity for myself. I have a twin and we have been together all our lives and we had decided that once we entered college, we need a separate existence. That’s when I accidentally chanced upon the theatre. At the inter-college festival Sarang, I was part of the dramatics competition. Soon the hobby became a passion. I worked with a lot of theatre groups in Chennai. In those seven years, I knew that I was better at this than my course work, considering my marks. The rush I got as a performer on stage was something else. I was introverted but being on stage helped to improve my sense of self. When all of these personal developments started taking place, I decided to make some money out of it. I never had a long-term plan and knew the limitations of theater. Though the groups I was part of did pay me.

What were the kind of plays you did?  

We did a lot of Indian and English plays. That included murder mysteries of Agatha Christie, period pieces, and contemporary English and Indian plays of Vijay Tendulkar, Uma Maheshwari, Madhav Sarkar, and Manjula Padmanabhan. I was introduced to a lot of Indian playwrights through theatre and it was a fascinating experience. Because the context they explored really enriched my thought process about society and also helped me in my approach as an actor.

How did you clinch Family Man?

Through auditions. That was around the time the OTT boom was happening and Sacred Games (2018) had been released. But when I auditioned I wasn’t aware of the sheer magnitude of the show. They just asked me my age, and if I knew English and Malayalam. I got selected within two days after the audition.

What was your takeaway from the show?

It was a beautiful experience. I loved the fact one of my directors (of the Raj and DK duo) had an engineering background. Because you always expect filmmakers to take up liberal arts. So their approach was clinical and had this incredible eye for detail. Despite having to grapple with such a big project, they would focus on the little things that add value to a scene. Be it prop placements or briefing their actors.

And then you went back to the theatre?

No. I worked in Mumbai for a while. Did Rashmi Rocket (2021), and I had an opportunity to work with Akarsh Khurana who is great with actors.

Why did you decide to shift to Kerala?

In Mumbai, after a point, I was only allowed to audition for south Indian roles (south Indian best friend, girlfriend, etc.) and how much can you explore within such limitations? They are competitive but also have a structure. If you want to feel the rush of creativity it is time to shift gears. Besides my heart was always set on working in Malayalam Cinema.

A still from Aattam.

Was it always a struggle, going through the auditions and the uncertainty of it all?  

Of course. It is always a struggle, be it in Mumbai or Kerala. Nothing is easy for newcomers without a film background. As for the auditions, you have to practice a level of detachment. I usually don’t think of the results. If I don’t do well, I try not to feel guilty. After two days I am going to my next. It’s all part of the process.

How is the audition scene in Kerala?

It is there. But right now I don’t have to apply for a casting call. People reach out to me, and I do a look test. Am always fine with auditions. After all a director comes to you with a vision and a lot of things have to fall in place. In Kerala, I found the process more interesting because I felt I could creatively contribute. The spirit of collaboration was more active here.

Did your debut Malayalam film Trishanku open newer avenues for you?

I think so because it was produced by Matchbox Shots, who had produced Andhadhun (2018), and it was their first Malayalam production. It was a great label to be associated with. Besides it was a time when a lot of new scripts and themes were coming up.

Then you did B 32 Muthal 44 Vare (2023), a mostly female crew, headlined by a woman.

Yes. It was the first time I had seen so many women in a crew. We had a lot of fun. In Mumbai, two of my projects had female DOPs. It was heartwarming as a feminine touch makes a difference in a project.

Zarin Shihab as Anjali in Malayalam film Aattam. (Screen grab/YouTube/Joy Movie Productions)

How did you reach Aattam?

I sent my profile. When I was called for auditions, I realised that Vinay Fort was auditioning with all the shortlisted girls. I found it unusual because he was an established actor. That had my curiosity. When I got confirmed for the part, this was there on my mind.

Which was the scene for which you auditioned?

It wasn’t there in the film. We had to do a scene that explored the dynamics between the two lead characters. I thought that was interesting because in Mumbai they only give important scenes for audition. And this guy (Anand Ekarshi) was going against the grain. When I heard the narration, he had great clarity on what he wanted people to see through his work. I was sold.

Were you apprehensive when he mentioned the crucial point in the film? Because historically filmmakers aren’t known to show subtlety when such scenes are depicted.

He told me very clearly that he would never focus on the violence of the act. He said it would never be shown, just the consequences and the toll it takes. I agree that a lot of films depicting sexual violence tend to cater to the male gaze. I understand they want to show the horror, but you don’t have to as the audience already knows. And there is nothing dignified about that portrayal while showing such scenes.

Zarin Shihab, who appeared in five episodes of the Amazon Prime Video series 'The Family Man', is the only female actor in Aattam.

In Aattam, there were 12 men and one woman and there was such an organic chemistry between the actors. How did you achieve that?

We had rehearsals for 35 days. Because in this story the characters have known each other for 15-16 years and that familiarity has to be made obvious on screen. I would interact with them outside of sets and rehearsals, go for movies and chai, and that laid the foundation for our bonding. They are all veteran theatre performers. The ease they have on stage is brilliant. We had a female crew working behind the scenes. So I never felt unsafe and within the first few days, I knew I could care for myself.

 Which was the most challenging scene?

More than the emotionally intense scenes, the challenge was in not being in awe when a co-actor performed. I would often forget my dialogue because of that, and we had to take a few retakes. That was a huge challenge since I was intensely involved in most scenes.

Is there a favourite scene?

There is a sequence with Vinay in the car. We were returning from a location, and it was raining, and Anand suddenly thought of the scene. Because we had rehearsed so well, we finished the scene in 40 minutes (running into eight-nine pages).

Though theatre isn’t known to be a lucrative profession, it goes without saying that theatre actors are looked on in awe by movie actors as they feel they learn different techniques of acting. How has theatre helped you?

Theatre has given me discipline. I would say talent is slightly overrated. Talent is more of an expertise. If you have it great but what is important is to figure out what you do with that talent? How you use discipline to help yourself is what matters. Theatre has helped me in terms of that. In theatre you learn to be self-sufficient — you learn to take care of your costumes, and props and are also responsible for collective results. If they mess up a dialogue, we should be there to improvise and fix it. Only theater can inculcate that in you. Theatre gives you a sense of community feeling. You learn to be generous as you are working for the totality of it.

Do you think OTT has stretched the shelf life of female actors irrespective of their age?

Definitely. There are a wide repertoire of roles to choose from. More women technicians and directors are there. When you have female writers on board, they can add better quality to the cinema.

What are the kinds of films you grew up watching?

Since my dad worked in the Air Force, we lived all over India. But they were extremely proud of Malayalam cinema. And that was one constant in our house. I remember watching Bhoothakkannadi (1997), Thaniyavarthanam (1987), and Vanaprastham (1999) as a child but had to revisit to understand its profundity. I don’t think any other industry tackles such strong topics. I was always a fan of the old Sreenivasan-Mohanlal comedies. This was my popular culture.

Now that Aattam is doing so well, what’s your next plan of action?

I would like to be a little choosy with my work. I do feel responsible as an actor now. All that love makes me a little nervous. I just finished Prashant Vijay's (Dhayam) film with Roshan Mathew and Nandu. It is a lighthearted romantic film. And I had a lot of fun doing it.