Does same-sex marriage 'rock societal values'?

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Irrespective of whether one is a votary (and staunch believer) of either of the theories – evolution or creation – human society, undoubtedly, evolved and subscribed to unitary customs and practices in its initial and early development. From the primordial lack of any form of marital ties, the institution of marriage took form in myriad ways in different societies in diverse settings, and depending on the local ecological, socio-cultural and economic conditions and backdrops, distinctive marital practices emerged. The societies concerned did accept such practices and over time these got legitimised.

What is to be emphasised here is that as societies grew, the levels of social and cultural practices started taking different shapes, often in the wake of economic changes and developments. It was inevitable for the smooth functioning of the societies to adapt to these various emerging marital practices and adjust to them. The debate, and consternation in certain quarters, both “official” and social, that is being “encountered” today as regards same-sex marriage is bordering on resistance and stone-walling.

Government’s Reservation

The State is putting forth all kinds of arguments before the Supreme Court to justify its stand against same-sex marriage. It is invoking “religious norms and cultural values”, as also the argument that same-sex marriage will “undermine faith and rock societal values”. Having earlier decriminalised homosexuality, the judiciary is now faced with the question of passing judgment as regards same-sex marriages. While a section feels that from the decriminalisation of homosexuality to same-sex marriage is a logical (and rational) step, the State does not think so and has expressed its reservation in no uncertain terms before the judiciary.

Questions of succession and inheritance are also being proffered in the debate against same-sex marriages. Also, the argument that in order to maintain “family balance” it is necessary that a marriage should comprise a man and a woman and anything different, that is a marriage between two men or between two women, would lead to improper functioning of the family per se and would affect the socialisation of children.

There are many assumptions in the above arguments that do not hold any water. Let us take up the last point and analyse it. That all gay or lesbian couples will adopt children is not a proven phenomenon or experience. For argument’s sake, we all know of single parents bringing up children due to the death, separation or divorce of a spouse. And these single-parent households, we can be sure, are many more than can there ever be homosexual households adopting children. So, now, why is it such a disconcerting issue if both the “parents” happen to be of the same sex?

The question of succession and inheritance is something that is not unsurmountable. People will, if the situation arises, find a way to tackle that; writing a will is an easy and simple solution if it comes to that.

Diverse forms Of Marriage

In India, we do have polygamous societies of both types – polygyny (a man having more than one wife) and polyandry (wherein a woman has more than one husband), and these are recognised and are acceptable forms of marriage in the societies concerned. In other parts of the world, there have been marriages that are quite different from what the Indian State would like to subscribe to. These are woman-to-woman marriage and “ghost marriage”, as among the Nuer of Sudan, and both these forms of marriage are legitimate ways of norms of conduct and do not in any way upset the apple cart in terms of standard operating procedures among them.

In a woman-to-woman marriage, the woman “husband” chooses a male from the lineage with whom her wife can have sexual relations. Children born out of such an arrangement are recognised by the Nuer as legitimate offspring of the woman husband who is addressed as father by the children. What is important to the Nuer is recognition of a pater, the social and legal father; the genitor, the biological father, just begets the children and has no further role with regard to the children or the woman with whom he has sexual relations.

In a “ghost marriage” among the Nuer, a man designated by the section of the society concerned can have sex with a widow, particularly if there have been no children in a regular marriage and the husband has died; the children born out of such a relationship are considered legitimate offspring of the dead person.

Also, needless to say, more than 30 countries in the world have no compunctions as regards same-sex marriages and have legalised these. Democracies around the world have gone to lengths to accommodate practices of their various constituents and sub-nationalities that make up their countries, even if, as in some cases, they earlier had unitary or uniform practices as regards some particular institutions but gradually variance set in in those institutions.

In India, in the erstwhile Kerala context, there was what came to be known as tali kattu kalyanam, among the matrilineal Nair, wherein a system of visiting husbands had evolved. So, to say the least, the definition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman that the Indian State would like to hold on to is in no way justified given that there are a number of ways in which marriages happen and, importantly, these are without any reservations, considered legitimate and standard practices according to the customs and traditions of the societies concerned. Hence, given the above, we can now provide a completely different definition for marriage, and it can go as a relationship between two or more individuals. Period.

MA Kalam, a social anthropologist, is Visiting Professor, Centre for Economic and Social Studies, Hyderabad. Views are personal, and do not represent the stand of this publication.