Symbiosexuality: the emerging concept of attraction to couples in relationships

Symbiosexuality, while not universally recognised, is far from uncommon. (Representational)

A new sexuality term has surfaced that may explain why some people are drawn not just to individuals, but to the relationships they share with their partners. This emerging concept, known as symbiosexuality, challenges traditional notions of attraction, and is gaining recognition in both academic and social circles.

What is Symbiosexuality?

Symbiosexuality is defined as the attraction to people within an established relationship, where the appeal lies not only in the individual partners but also in the dynamic they create together.

The term was first introduced by the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality and has since been explored in greater depth by researchers like Sally W. Johnston, an adjunct professor at Seattle University.

In a paper published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, Johnston delves into the reasons why some individuals are irresistibly drawn to couples, describing this phenomenon as "understudied" yet profoundly significant.

Symbiosexuality is more than just an interest in the individuals within a relationship; it's an attraction to the unique energy and connection that exists between them, Johnston explains in the paper. This concept differentiates symbiosexuality from other forms of attraction, such as plurisexuality or polyamory, where the focus is on multiple relationships or genders, rather than the specific dynamics of an existing relationship.

The Science Behind the Attraction

The study conducted by Johnston reveals some intriguing statistics: around 23% of participants reported feeling a one-off attraction to a couple, while nearly 52% admitted to experiencing this attraction multiple times. A significant 24% said they often felt drawn to couples. These findings suggest that symbiosexuality, while not universally recognised, is far from uncommon.

This attraction is not merely about physical or aesthetic appeal; it's deeply rooted in the qualities of the relationship itself. Factors such as the couple’s intimacy, playfulness, and even their "gender and/or sexual queerness" contribute to the allure. For symbiosexual individuals, the relationship becomes an entity in its own right, deserving of admiration and desire.

The "Unicorn" Debate

Within polyamorous communities, a related term, "unicorn," has been used to describe bisexual or queer women who engage with heterosexual couples. However, Johnston argues that this term oversimplifies and, at times, discredits the genuine attraction experienced by symbiosexual individuals. “While the term only implies a willingness or interest to engage in dynamics with couples, it does not necessarily reflect an attraction to their preexisting relationship,” she notes.

The use of the term "unicorn" has led to misconceptions and, in some cases, discrimination against those who are genuinely attracted to couples for the unique dynamic they present. As Johnston points out, this not only invalidates the experiences of symbiosexual people but also perpetuates myths and stereotypes that hinder broader acceptance of this form of attraction.