If India were the most spectator-friendly cricketing nation, our stadiums would ...

(Representational image)

Note to readers: This is a wish list/satire and may or may not be based on actual incidents or quotes.

It is 2023, the year of the inaugural Women’s Premier League, and the year when the Men’s 50-over World Cup returns to India. The richest cricket board in the world is set to host the grandest cricket tournament of them all, and the largest cricket fanbase in the world cannot keep calm. Ahead of the big tournament, we interviewed fans about the state of India's stadiums. The respondents' names have been withheld so their HR won't penalise them for thinking about matches on workdays.

“We knew things would change the day they changed the name,” announced a fan outside the Arun Jaitley Stadium in Delhi. “Back then, the passageways and staircases used to be filthy, and there were paan and gutkha stains everywhere, and they even sold tickets for seats blocked by pillars. All that is gone now.

“Earlier, you would have to pay Rs 20 for a glass of water – or Rs 50, if you wanted the whole bottle. But now, you get clean drinking water for free in every stand.

“Mind you, drinking water was not an option here, because the women’s toilets were so filthy that we could not use them at all. But now things are changing, perhaps because of the Women’s Premier League. Today’s toilets here will remind you of the ones you get at multiplexes.”

Another fan echoed the same opinions after a visit to the Wankhede Stadium: “Look at the ground today, not very long ago, half the toilets remained closed – and we had to spend eight hours here. Sometimes we had to spend the day without drinking water. Everything has changed."

There were other issues too, the most life-threatening of which seemed to have been addressed.

“Earlier, they did not open every gate, which led to long queues before the match. Worse, when the fans left the ground after the match, there was every chance of a stampede. Now, they use every gate, which has made everything so easy and smooth. I can now take my children to watch a day’s cricket and walk back with them to Churchgate Station. You know what, the authorities actually care for us these days instead of promoting our struggles as ‘Spirit of Mumbai’,” said the fan.

We also spoke to fans at the Eden Gardens in Kolkata, who were pleasantly surprised to find drinking water even late in the day. The stench from the toilets had mysteriously disappeared as well.

The authorities in Hyderabad, meanwhile, had arranged for ticket sale throughout the city. The infamous 2022 stampede at the Hyderabad Gymkhana that led to the police first lathi-charging, then filing cases, against the Association, is now a thing of the past. Fans could not help but be excited about this unexpected convenience.

Comfortable, clean bucket seats, hygienic food, vending machines for most necessities, access to drinking water, ramps for the differently abled, and discounts for senior citizens are features every Indian cricket ground can boast of now. No longer do the fans have to brave the unforgiving sun for hours; every stadium now has convenient shades to protect them from that.

Of course, there are small-scale incidents. For example, poor outfield recently forced a change of venue for a Test match. While human errors can happen, it is how the board handled the matter that stood out.

Australia had toured India for four Test matches earlier this year. The board had to change the venue of the third Test match from Dharamsala to Indore after the first Test match got over, “owing to harsh winter conditions in the region, the outfield lacks sufficient grass density and will need some time to develop fully.”

Fair enough, but the board had announced the change long after fans had made arrangements to visit the city to watch the Test match. Their statement did not even acknowledge the fans, let alone express regret or try to compensate.

What prompted this change? “The fans are everything. They are our greatest stakeholders,” an official told us off the record. “They made us the richest board in the world. They also pay good money to watch the cricket. It is time we acknowledge them.”

Since the Dharamsala debacle, schedules are announced only if the grounds are ready at least two months prior. If not, the state associations have to wait their turn until the next schedule is planned.

India used to be a cricketing superpower even before the recent revolution, both on and off the field. Now, they can proudly claim to be the most spectator-friendly cricketing nation as well.

You read the disclaimer at the top, did you not? But then, while all of this is fiction, we can still dream, can’t we?