Viju Cherian
Move over Chulbul Pandey and Bajirao Singham, move over Inspector Balram and Action Hero Biju — here comes KP-BOT! To help the people and to fight crime; to increase the efficiency of the police; to change the perception of the force and to give it a human face — well, a humanoid face.
On Wednesday, February 20, Kerala Chief Minister Pinarayi Vijayan inducted KP-BOT, a humanoid robot into Kerala’s Police force in the rank of a sub-inspector. Part of the Kerala Police’s Cyberdrome project, it is noteworthy that the first humanoid in Kerala’s police force — in fact, the first in India — is a woman. Vijayan must be commended for this initiative and his vision.
Probably not showing the Kerala Police in favourable light, at the inauguration ceremony, one of the first questions asked to KP-BOT was whether she would accept a bribe. To everyone’s rescue she replied that she had recorded the image of the official who had offered the bribe and would report it. Alas, if only all cops were like KP-BOT!
However, highly-placed sources spread across Kerala’s million tea shops have informed us that opposition against this progressive initiative is growing.
There is a proposal to place KP-BOT at Kerala Assembly and a group of politicians across party lines are drafting an objection note against this move. This group feels that they will be denied entry into the House because KP-BOT has a feature that can identify criminals and sound an alarm!
How can any news in Kerala be complete without mention of a hartal! The above mentioned sources have also informed us that there are likely to be four sets of protests across Kerala.
The first protest will be by the Kerala Union of Moustache-Twirling Policemen against the government’s decision to assign KP-BOT as a woman. “As it is, in Kerala the number of women are more than that of men. To balance the equation KP-BOT must be a man,” said Meesha Raghavan, the president of KUMTP.
The second protest will be by Kerala’s Revolutionary Democratic Party (RDP) against computers and technology taking away jobs in Kerala. The RDP’s main rival, the Indian National Secular Party (INSP), is likely to back this protest. The third protest is by the trade unions across Kerala demanding better working conditions for KP-BOT. In the long list of demands, the prominent ones are: reducing the working hours of KP-BOT, better working conditions with air-conditions to reduce CPU heating, gratuity, timely updates and promotions, etc.
The fourth protest, and one that is expected to be the biggest, is by social media activists. They are yet to decide the reason for calling the protest, and are likely to come up with a reason soon. This is expected to be a Bharat Bandh observed in Kerala. Other groups, which highly respect women and their fundamental rights, are likely to extend support.
It’s a long way before Kerala’s Robocop says “The name is BOT, KP-BOT” and ask the bartender to give her piña colada with extra tender coconut water, or before she walks through walls and busts Kochi’s criminal gangs — infamously called ‘Quotation Groups’, meaning that for the right price quoted these anti-socials would take a hit job.
Till then you can find KP-BOT at the reception desk at the police headquarters in Thiruvananthapuram, the state’s capital. Now that’s a prize posting!
(Disclaimer: Resemblance to any fictional characters is intentional and not coincidental.)
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