"I didn’t know how to keep living, but I didn't want to die": How this 27-year-old fought anxiety and depression

“I realised I don’t want to die. I just didn’t have any more idea how to keep living,” says Hiteksha Bhagat

When Hiteksha Bhagat boarded a flight to Canada several years ago, she thought she was pursuing a dream: another country, a fresh identity and the opportunity to begin anew. What she didn’t know is that her journey would plunge her into one of the darkest periods of her life before guiding and grounding her to rediscover herself in the most unlikely way — through healing, family and food.

The sweet but devilish icing on the cake came six months after she moved to Canada. As she was on her way back to her apartment one night, Hiteksha was attacked by an addict. That one incident destroyed her feeling of safety and wellbeing. The city that once studded with opportunity felt cold and strange. Issues around immigration, loneliness and a toxic living situation had compounded her response.

“I was a long way from home, living on caffeine, and fear,” Hiteksha Bhagat tells Moneycontrol. “When I lost my job and, when that worry became real and financial at once, my anxiety congealed into depression. Food was my comfort, my silence-filler.”

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For years, Hiteksha existed in a state of silent collapse — she functioned outwardly while breaking inside. It was not until the wedding of a close friend that she hit her lowest point. While everybody around her was partying, she was invisible. That night, she tried to kill herself in a bathtub. But a pang of panic held her back. “I realised I don’t want to die. I just didn’t have any more idea how to keep living,” she says softly.

It was this moment of reckoning that changed Hiteksha Bhagat’s life.

She pursued therapy and then headed to a doctor who prescribed medication, eventually pinning her with a cascade of four diagnoses: severe anxiety, depression, and ADHD. For the first time, she came to realise that her feeling “emotionally intense,” was not a matter of weakness — it was fatigue. “My feelings were not a flaw, I learned that through CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). They were signals that my nervous system had been carrying too much for too long,” Hiteksha says.

As she embarked on the journey toward mental health, her physical house required urgent attention. An instance of PCOD diagnosis was the wake-up call that there is a deep link between mind and body.

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Through the help of nutritionist Dr Umesh Wadhvani, Hiteksha Bhagat began to heal internally. “He taught me that food should actually be about alignment, not restriction. I began eating with a different intention, to nourish myself rather than escape," she says. Her mind and body started to heal — slowly.

When Hiteksha finally made it back to Mumbai, she made a conscious decision — That she would never return to the corporate world that had sucked her dry. Instead, she chose to create something that was born in love and authenticity, in community.

Hiteksha Bhagat (27), along with her mother and sister, revived their small home-run cloud kitchen Truupt during the lockdown to launch Maa Nu Ghar, a unique home-dining experience in which traditional Gujarati dishes are served every Sunday. “It’s food that makes people remember what care tastes like. And for the days when getting out of bed is still hard, it gives me a sense of purpose,”  she says.

And in an out-of-the-way nook, her undertaking has quietly blossomed into a place of connection and healing — for herself and for others who drop by. “My family has been my rock. Their patience and love have kept me afloat. And my girlfriends, even from continents away, remind me who I am when I forget,” Hiteksha says.

Today, Hiteksha Bhagat’s story is one of resilience — evidence that recovery isn’t necessarily about perfection, so much as persistence. “Healing is tough and it’s slow,” she says. “But with the right people next to you, it can happen.”

While Hiteksha expands her business and raises awareness for mental health, her message is the same clear one: “Stay a little longer. Even if you’re unable to inwardly see the light, I promise you it is there — for you.”

FAQs on Symptoms of Anxiety and Depression

What are common symptoms of anxiety?

Common symptoms of anxiety include excessive worry, restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, and sleep disturbances.

How can you recognize depression?

Depression can manifest as persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite or weight, insomnia or oversleeping, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, and difficulty concentrating.

Can anxiety and depression occur simultaneously?

Yes, anxiety and depression often coexist. Individuals may experience symptoms of both conditions, complicating the diagnosis and treatment.

What physical symptoms are associated with anxiety and depression?

Physical symptoms can include headaches, stomach aches, muscle pain, fatigue, and changes in appetite or sleep patterns.

When should someone seek professional help for anxiety and depression?

Seek professional help if symptoms persist for more than two weeks, interfere with daily life, or if there are thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

Disclaimer: This article, including health and fitness advice, only provides generic information. Don’t treat it as a substitute for qualified medical opinion. Always consult a specialist for specific health diagnosis.