How to reconnect after a breakup: Offer a heartfelt apology for your mistakes, taking responsibility for your actions (Image: Canva)
Couples may part ways for various reasons including miscommunication, growing apart, or external pressures. All these can contribute to a relationship's decline. Yet, time apart can also encourage reflection and personal growth, leading some couples to rekindle their bond later.
If you’re serious about reviving your relationship after a long period of no contact, here's a guide, from relationship expert Jeevika Sharma, that wil help you bridge the gap:
- Reflect on the past: Understand the reasons for the separation and your role in it.
How: Write in a journal about your feelings and experiences during the relationship, identifying key issues that led to the breakup.
- Reach out with empathy: Make contact with a sincere, empathetic message, acknowledging the hurt and distance.
How: Send a text saying, “I’ve been thinking about our time together and realise I hurt you. I’d love to talk if you’re open to it.”
- Apologise genuinely: Offer a heartfelt apology for your mistakes, taking responsibility for your actions.
How: When you communicate, say, “I’m truly sorry for how I treated you and the pain it caused. I take full responsibility for my actions.”
- Listen actively: Engage in open, honest conversations, actively listening to each other's feelings and concerns.
How: During your conversations, summarise what your partner says to show you understand, like, “It sounds like you felt neglected when I was busy with work.”
- Rebuild trust: Focus on rebuilding trust through transparency, reliability, and consistency.
How: If you commit to calling regularly, follow through on that promise to show you can be relied upon.
- Meet in person: Arrange a meeting in a neutral, comfortable setting to reconnect face-to-face.
How: Suggest meeting at a place where you both shared happy memories.
- Counselling or therapy: Consider seeking professional help to work through issues and strengthen your relationship.
How: Suggest attending a couples’ workshop together to learn new communication techniques.
- Rekindle intimacy: Prioritise emotional and physical intimacy to reestablish your connection.
How: Plan a date night where you can focus on each other without distractions.
- Foster healthy communication: Establish open, honest communication, addressing issues and concerns promptly.
How: Set aside time each week to discuss any concerns or feelings that have come up.
- Commit to growth: Work together to grow and improve, both individually and as a couple.
How: Take up a new hobby together, like art class or hiking, to encourage teamwork and shared experiences.
- Celebrate milestones: Mark important dates and special occasions to celebrate your reconnection.
How: Plan a small celebration for the anniversary of your reconnection.
- Be patient and flexible: Reviving a relationship takes time, effort, and flexibility from both partners.
How: Understand that healing takes time and be ready to adapt your approach based on your partner’s feelings.
- Show appreciation and gratitude: Express gratitude for each other and the relationship.
How: Make it a habit to thank each other for the little things, like cooking dinner or listening to concerns.
- Support each other's goals: Encourage and support each other's goals, dreams, and aspirations.
How: If your partner has academic goals, offer to help them with research or manage household tasks.
- Respect independence: Maintain individuality and independence within the relationship.
How: Encourage each other to spend time with friends and pursue personal interests outside the relationship.
