Funnycontrol: Macroeconomic Messi, Inflation Avengers and more ways the Fed packed as many surprises as the FIFA World Cup this year

Surprise! (Photo: Hussain Badshah via Unsplash)

If Jerome Powell was also in charge of World Cup results, 2022 would be his swansong. Every single time the markets have tried to second-guess him, like a macroeconomic Messi he has come and scored a goal sending the bulls scrambling and the bears cheering from the stands. Some might even liken him to Thanos in the Federal Reserve production, Inflation Avengers: Infinity War, because the Endgame is yet unknown.

The business end of the world cup has also seen many results decided by penalty shoot-outs. According to an article in a leading daily, when England’s Harry Kane missed his second penalty in the 84th minute against defending champions France in the World Cup quarter-final, it was once again the penalty curse for the 1966 World Cup champions that struck its cruel blow. He seemed to mirror the fates of Lizz Truss who managed to get a penalty shoot-out thanks to a foul by Boris Johnson.

But not only did she miss the net, she turned right around passed the ball to Kwasi Karteng who went past all his own team-mates in the conservative party and scored a spectacular self-goal. Never in history have a pair been red-carded by their own team without even waiting for the referee.

Meanwhile, in the financial world, many an over-confident defender from Sam Bankman-Fried to the former CEO of the National Spiritual Exchange of India thought they could get away with committing foul after foul till they found themselves on the wrong end of a penalty shoot-out. And the regulators scored every single time.

Perhaps one of the biggest upsets was Croatia beating Brazil in the penalty shoot-outs, after a nail-biting 1-1 finish at the end of extra time. Brazilian great Neymar left the field in tears. But so did many IT and startup employees, as layoff season kicked off elsewhere in the world.

Having said that, football startups like Morocco, Japan and South Korea have pulled off many an upset and shaken up old economy hands like Spain, Germany and Portugal. On the latter, one feels for Ronaldo who has seen his last shot at World Cup victory evaporate around the same time as his exit from Manchester United. This reminds one of the premature celebration of India getting added to the MSCI bond index only to see that put on hold while also seeing the disqualification of Indian institutions by ESMA.

Eventually though in the grand final of the tournament on Sunday night, it’s down to the old hands Argentina and France, reminding you that old-economy blue-chips stocks still command a premium valuation for a reason. And why among the extremely volatile markets, a Warren Buffet continues to remain relevant. Perhaps the ghosts of Benjamin Graham and Maradona watch the finals from above.

Unfortunately, not all old-timers age well. Some have shown their besharam rang in a hilariously choreographed item number. New SRK starrer Pathaan has been panned for having awful similarities to Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Perhaps he could argue it’s just a metaphor for the winter leg of the Ukraine war. Likewise, his co-starrer in the item number, Deepika Padukone is enroute to Qatar to unveil the trophy for the big final.  At least it’s a pleasant change from every Bollywood star’s mandatory layover in Dubai.

Now it’s down to Lionel Messi (and Kylian Mbappe) in the World Cup 2022, and Macroeconomic Messi (Powell) in 2023. Irrespective of the carnage in the field or in our stock portfolios, if Maximus from Gladiator turns around and screams at us “Are you not entertained?!!!”, let’s put on our besharam rangs and scream the slogan of Qatar 2022 one last time … “NOW IS ALL!”