Funnycontrol: What went on inside the Comedy Working Committee?

(Representational image) A debacle at the polls. (Image: Rishi WiC via Unsplash)

At the meeting of the Comedy Working Committee, the first family proposed that it take responsibility for the debacle in the polls by removing themselves from this unpopular CC to All.

1^st Family: We feel we are no longer qualified to run this comedy show on our own. As you can see, our YouTube views have been consistently falling as the voters have switched to TikTok.

Party Workers: No, we need you. We are nothing without you. We are also nothing with you. But we believe in that song by U2 “With or without You”. We will be with you Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak singing “Akele hai toh kya gum hai. Bas ek zara saath ho tera”.

Spiritual NFT of Nehru: Tere toh hai hum, kabse sanam

Party Workers: Thank you, sir. We have been validated by the great leader himself.

Nehru NFT: Oh no, I was singing for Modiji’s NFT

Modiji NFT: Big thank you for being here. We’d have no content for our TikTok videos without you.

Hrrr Nab/Shee Public TV: Mujhe Likes Doh! Likes Doh!

1^st Family: Look, at some point we have to stop generating content for the Opposition’s TikTok Channel. They have had 70 years' content when Tiktok is not even seven years old. We think it’s time for the younger generation to take over.

Rahul (Wearing 18 till I die t-shirt): Naam toh suna hi hoga.

Voters: Nahin suna. Sirf YouTube pe dekha hai. Sir, please tell me how I can also start my standup comedy career.

Sidhu: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Wait… I was judging the standup comedian from my high seat. Now the standup comedian is in my high seat.

Priyanka: Check out my latest video with my husband Nick. Oh wait, that’s the wrong Priyanka. I think the voters also got confused.

Sonia: I really appreciate that all of you are still singing “Kehdo na, kehdo na, you are my Sonia” but I want to ask the voters, “Woh kaun hai jisne Rahul ko mudke nahin dekha?”

Amarinder Sings: I kept telling Sidhu you should trust your partner while running instead of watching the ball. Now we are both at the same end and the opposition has whipped the bails off. And I have dropped my bat as well. AAP hi bataiye, is this the way to treat a senior leader?

Putin: Heck, I say invade the Punjab and make it a part of Canada.

Zelenskyy: This is the time of standup comedians to rule. You may attack us on the ground. But don’t attack us on YouTube. Sticks and Missiles may break my bones, but YouTube comments hurt forever.

Pakistan: I guess this time you guys managed to launch a missile on yourself by mistake. The last time your country launched a missile on its own economy, it was called demonetization

Ashneer G: I also offered to resign. But instead of refusing, they not only accepted my resignation, they also threatened if I don’t return the company laptop, a Shark will attack me with a Russian Tank.

Vijay Shikaar: I used to be the Shikaari. Now I have become the Shikaar. Can you PayTM me some bail money?

1^st Family: We don’t know why our internal matters have become an international discussion. When so many matters that should be international discussions have been left as internal matters between countries.  The UN is busy playing UNO and Ukraine is being hit with Multiple Draw Fours. But no one is telling Russia to Reverse while NATO is busy playing Skip.

Party Workers: We don’t care what internal discussions you share with international partners in Italy. We are with you BOFORs and after. Through CWC and 2G. Our Union will be intact even if the only assembly we are left with is morning PT class with Modiji’s NFT. Or is it Yoga class?

Muffler man: The political winds may blow hot and cold but my muffler will always be intact. Even in the ongoing heat wave. Because we have only started to turn on the heat. If you bring me to power, I will give you free power.

Writer of this column: Dear 1^st Family, this column is called Funnycontrol. But here’s the funny thing about control. When you try to control too many things, you hand over the remote control to a standup comedian. And instead of being the leader of the opposition in the Parliament, you become the leading article in a humour column.