Social media, low self-esteem, peer pressure—the many mental health battles of Indian youth

Myth 5: Someone living with a mental illness is more likely to commit a crime or be violent | A mere 7.5 percent of violent acts are committed by people experiencing symptoms of mental illness, according to Bulthuis. “More often than not, individuals with mental health issues are not violent. Someone with a mental illness is actually nearly 4 times more likely to be a victim of crime”. (Representative image)

“It's a pileup that keeps growing until it's too late… People think depression is a prolonged episode of sadness but it isn't. There are no definite periods, and even though you're smiling at the moment, it feels empty inside."

Chinmay was 17 when he was diagnosed with clinical depression. He was preparing for IIT-JEE but never felt up to it. He felt alone in a group of boisterous, bright teenagers, the 22-year-old engineering graduate told Moneycontrol. Loneliness and sadness are what he remembers of those difficult, dark days.

It has been more than a week that actor Sushant Singh Rajput was found dead in his Mumbai home in what police said was death by suicide. Some reports said the 34-year-old promising actor was diagnosed with depression. His death sparked a discussion on how we, as a country and a society, continue to undermine mental health.

While physical illnesses are easier to recognise and treat, conditions like depression, addictions, panic attacks and anxiety do not get the attention they deserve.

Every day eight students died by suicide in 2018 in India, the National Crime Records Bureau data shows. India reported 1.3 lakh suicides that year, of which 8 percent were students and 10 percent unemployed.

India's youth account for a fifth of its 1.3 billion people and face challenges that didn't even exist 15 years ago. There is a whole generation moving in unchartered waters.

To get a clearer picture of the pushes and pulls behind mental illnesses and there coping mechanism, Moneycontrol spoke to several people in the 15-25 age bracket. Those who came on record wanted to be identified by only their first names to protect their identity and that of their families.

The perils of a networked world

India's youth is the most connected demographic today. With easy access to the internet, social networking sites are an inextricable part of their lives. For many, they define their lives.

What were to be the means of communication have evolved into something unrecognisable--a cause of stress, low-self esteem and pressure.

Pictures of a friend vacationing in the Caribbean, a colleague’s promotion, videos of a climb up the Himalayas, accounts of backpacking through Europe, or a solo bike trip, it is a world where haves and have-nots are neatly divided.

There are “influencers” who seem to live life king-size or even bigger. And they have a huge audience—“followers”, as they are referred to in the viral world, consuming every minute detail that is shared.

“A majority of teenage patients have issues that are related to the internet, directly or indirectly. The peer pressure it exerts is enormous, and nobody likes to feel left out,” Suruchi Kothari, a Mumbai-based psychologist said. Online, everyone is happy, their lives picture-perfect.

Until a few years ago, being young meant chasing grades, making a career and laying the foundation of what was seen as a good, secure life while managing to have some fun as well.

But, now it is more competitive and nothing is off-limits—food, vacations, relationships, movies, dramas, clothes, just about everything. It is all lived in the glare of social media. It better look good on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok or whatever is your poison.

Feeling left out or jealous is natural but the constant measuring up is hardly healthy.

"Heartbreaks are one of the leading causes along with the pressure to cope with academics and peers. During this time, they're trying to cope up with academic as well as peer pressure," Kothari said.

The virtual world sets an unreasonably high bar of expectations, leading to fear of missing out, low self-esteem and lack of confidence, which, in turn, can cause eating disorders, depression, and even addiction. .

For introverts, it is not easy to socialise and make friends.

"Youth in their early 20s have different priorities, but the root cause remains the same. They have to think about graduating, working, and building a career. In this case, the internet's unreal expectations and comparisons with others only leads to demoralisation. Gradually, this turns into stress, overwhelming the mind," Kothari said.

The web of negativity

The internet never sleeps and nor does the flow of information ebb.

Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, etc have made everyone a content creator and a consumer. There is information overload. A lot of it is toxic, aided by the anonymity granted by the medium.

"The volume of the content is unimaginable. Everyone has opinions, and you're at the centre of it all. It's easy to get influenced if you don't know what you're doing. In these crucial years, the sense of worth and morality is constantly challenged," said Chinmay.

Junior college was the toughest time for him. “I was in a batch of some of the smartest kids, preparing for the IIT-JEE test. Ended up making zero friends and always had a fear of not being good enough. The test was miserable, and I stood no chance of getting admitted to a premier engineering institute," he said.

Chinmay said it wasn’t one factor or incident that led to depression. “Everyone has a unique trigger that makes them feel uncomfortable. In my case, I just felt numb. I stopped feeling empathy and these periods felt like oblivion,” he said.

Sleep played a crucial role in his treatment and with the help of a psychiatrist, the trigger points were identified. His parents were supportive. He is living a happier and better life today, away from social media.

Childhood 

It was a parent who was responsible for the mental trauma that Karishma, a Mumbai-based professional, has been living through. As a child, she was verbally and physically abused by her alcoholic father and was diagnosed with multiple illnesses, including systemic lupus erythematosus, an auto-immune disease.

While the internet has its share of the blame, upbringing and childhood are critical when it comes to mental health.

Children are often burdened with goals and compared to their peers. Continuous criticism can be detrimental to self-worth and confidence.

Low self-esteem is "unknowingly seeded by the parents and watered by social media", Kothari said.

If parents don't recognise mental health issues, the child, too, will grow up ignoring or even avoiding them.

“We self-injure in a state of subconsciousness. It’s only a few hours later that we realise what we had done and the extreme physical pain sets in,” Karishma said.

Friends any day

Acknowledging a problem is the first step towards taking care of mental health.

Communication is the key but there's a growing disconnect between parents and children. Most of the people that Moneycontrol spoke to didn’t share their problems with parents.

There is a generational gap--parents are pre-internet and children post-internet.

When India opened its economy in 1991, it also brought about social and cultural changes. For instance, dating, an almost alien concept for parents, is normal for their children who are more sure of what they want and don’t shy away from expressing themselves.

The new generation, exposed to new ideas that have largely come from the West, don’t want to conform, they want to chart their own course, break new grounds and find their own place in the world. The fact that economically they are a more secure generation also plays a part.

"My parents worked hard all their life to raise a family, buy a solid house, and give us the best education. But, I don't want to do either of that. I'm earning well right now and intend to travel the world, explore, and settling down isn't a goal or priority," 24-year-old Disha.

It is easier for them to fall back on peers as they can relate to each other. It's easier to share because friends are less judgemental, they say.

When it involves addiction, elders are a big no.

"There have never been casual discussions about relationships, sex, alcohol, or even boys. How do I go up to them and say I visited the psychiatrist and am taking some medicines? For them, it'll translate to the girl going mad," she said.

Though awareness is growing about mental health but it is a long road ahead.

Like all illnesses, mental health issues also have symptoms but there are no noticeable physical changes or thermometers to measure the extent of illness. Unwinding, talking about the problem helps.

"Everyone has a family doctor. You visit them once in a while to ensure you're okay or when you catch the flu during sudden weather changes. Similarly, a family counsellor can go a long way in improving everyone's mental health," Kothari said.

(The author writes on technology, aviation, and mobility.)

If you or someone you know needs help for mental health issues, call any of these helplines: NIMHANS toll-free number 0804611000, Mpower and BMC joint helpline 1800-120-820050, Vandrevala Foundation 1860-2662-345 or Aasra 9820466726