Bengaluru mum pays Rs 46,000 for two nannies, sparks online debate over privilege and parenting

Bengaluru mum’s post on nannies ignites discussion on parenting roles. (AI-generated image)

Managing work and family is a daily challenge for many parents in India’s cities. Finding dependable childcare has become an essential part of keeping both professional and personal life on track. A mother in Bengaluru recently sparked debate online by sharing how she raises her two young children with the help of two nannies, paying a total of Rs 46,000 per month.

The mother, Parveen Choudhury, has two boys aged three and four. In a video posted on Instagram, she explained that the first nanny receives Rs 32,000 per month for cooking, cleaning and childcare for up to 11 hours a day, including overnight stays when required. The second nanny is paid Rs 14,000 per month to assist the main nanny and cover when needed.

Choudhury said the support allows her children to feel safe and comfortable while giving her the freedom to work or travel without worry. One of the nannies also uses her income to support her three children in her village. She said, “One of the nannies has 3 kids back in her village that she supports with her salary. It’s women exchanging resources for doing the best for their family.”

She emphasised that the arrangement is more than just a financial transaction. In the video caption, she wrote, “For me, nannies are not just a transactional exchange where I pay them for a certain hours and they give me a service. For me, they are an extension of my family system. I’m getting two loving aunts to look after my kids. For me, integrity and trust are important, so when I find the right people, I trust them and never micromanage. In return, my house help has always given me way more than I can imagine. They have enabled me to work, travel and care for my kids even when I myself may fall short.”

Choudhury also acknowledged her privilege in being able to afford this support, “I know I’m privileged to be able to afford nannies and I’m grateful for this privilege every day, and work hard to be able to provide handsomely to those who care for my kids. With the salary I give, my nannies are able to afford a good education for their kids.”

The post went viral, dividing viewers online. Supporters praised her for valuing domestic work and for creating a reliable support system. One commenter wrote, “Love this. At the end of the day we all thrive off of healthy, sustainable support and what you’ve said here is a great lesson in how important it is to have help in this journey.”

Others raised concerns about inequality and low wages. One critic calculated the hourly pay of the main nanny, “As per reel, 11 hrs per day, assuming 26 days, Nanny works for 286 hours. So her hourly rate is 110 rs per hour. Now this is only possible in India, as high levels of poverty, due to Corruption in government. Do you think you would find labour for 2$ per hour in any country? So it’s not feminism. It’s the rich exploiting the poor. But yes at an individual level, it’s a good deal, win-win, but at systemic failure.”

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A post shared by Parveen Choudhury | Intergenerational trauma informed coach (@parveen.cyclebreaker)

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Some viewers shared personal perspectives. One woman wrote, “It’s good if it works for you. I personally don’t have the heart to give my baby to anyone else. I have lot to give to my child, and no nanny or work can replace the skills, character, knowledge and spiritual grounding that I can personally give to my child. But then it’s absolutely personal.”

Choudhury responded, clarifying the role of her nannies, “Why do you feel I’m being replaced by the nannies. They are there to do the work that I can delegate, like potty washing, bathing, feeding, and school trips. Because I’m not tired from chores, I have more time and energy to actually do all that you have written. You can check my page posts. I read books to them, take them for walks in nature. Their dad plays with them, tells stories. There’s no award being given to the ‘mother India’ stereotype who sacrifices all, it only breeds resentment, and even children look down upon mothers who don’t have a separate identity from the kids.”