What is phubbing and how does it affect relationships

A little scrolling can create big emotional distance. Here’s why phubbing hurts relationships more than we think. (Image: Pexels)

The latest dating term ‘phubbing’ indicates snubbing someone by being glued to the phone and it has quietly become one of the most common (and strangely accepted) social habits of our time. It’s the moment when someone reaches for their screen in the middle of a conversation, scrolls through notifications at dinner, or checks messages even during an argument.

Why can phubbing cause conflicts?

We’ve become a generation that reaches for the phone before making eye contact. Notifications give us a quick hit of validation, social media promises endless distraction, and work emails blur the line between professional and personal hours. It could be an alarming sign, when basic manners slowly slip away and are replaced by constant multitasking and half-hearted conversations.

Also Read: Basic rules of arguments: Be respectful, listen actively, end with resolution for healthy relationships

This reliance on screens isn’t just rude; it has emotional consequences. Research consistently shows that excessive social media and digital engagement heighten feelings of comparison, anxiety, and restlessness. When someone is overly attached to their phone, it often reflects deeper patterns like fear of missing out, pressure to stay “productive,” or the need for constant stimulation. And when these habits spill into romantic relationships, trouble follows.

Couples today often complain about feeling “unheard” or “not fully present” with each other. Something as simple as scrolling social media posts during a date night can create emotional distance. A partner might interpret it as disinterest, disrespect, or avoidance, even if that wasn’t the intention. Over time, this builds resentment, reduces intimacy, and weakens communication. Many partners describe phubbing as a subtle form of rejection as the phone becomes competition for attention, affection, and conversation.

How to improve your relationship?

Thanks to the phone addiction, mental health also takes a hit. Constant digital noise leaves little room for quiet moments, self-reflection, or genuine connection. The mind rarely gets a break, and relationships rarely get uninterrupted time. Couples who experience repeated phubbing often find themselves arguing more, bonding less, and drifting without even noticing it.

Thankfully, it’s possible to break the cycle without giving up your phone altogether. Like most lifestyle changes, it starts with awareness. For couples, phubbing is more than a bad habit but a reminder of how easily technology can creep into the spaces that matter most. Relationships thrive on attention, empathy, and presence. Here are a few practical ways to build healthier boundaries:

Whether it's mealtime, an evening walk, or the first hour after waking up, setting aside phone-free spaces helps restore real interaction. These small pockets of undistracted time can make a big difference in how connected couples feel.

Also Read: Relationship tips: Don’t know how to communicate your needs? These 10 tips will help you

Half the urge to check your phone comes from constant buzzing. Muting social media alerts or using “Do Not Disturb” during certain hours can reduce impulsive scrolling. This not only improves focus but also lowers digital anxiety.

Instead of sitting next to each other scrolling, trade that hour for something you both enjoy — listening to music, cooking together, or even simply talking about your day. These rituals help rebuild emotional closeness.