Future faking explained: Here’s how you can catch the toxic dating trend early in a relationship

Ever met someone who plans your future together on date two — but never shows up on date three? That’s future faking. (Pic credit: Pexels)

• Future faking: making big dating promises with no intent to deliver.
• Nearly 3 in 10 daters have experienced future faking in their dating journey
• Key signs include big promises, little effort, and inconsistent communication

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If you’ve been on dating apps, you know it’s hard to find someone with the same vibe. And when you do manage to, it may not turn out to be what you expect. Some people may make you believe in a future together. Think lavish weddings, staying together, and more, but here’s the twist: they may just be faking it to hook you in, without any intention of delivering on their promises.

What is future faking - the toxic dating trend

QuackQuack CEO Ravi Mittal told Moneycontrol, “Future faking is not new; the toxic pattern just got a fancy new name, meaning daters are now actively identifying it and naming and shaming it as they go. Promising a future, sometimes near and sometimes distant, with no intention of following it through, that’s future faking in a nutshell.”

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It's manipulative behaviour to make the victim feel special and avoid any real commitment in the present. “‘Fakers’ talk a lot about extensive long-term plans: “We’ll have a destination wedding”, “We’ll move into a beautiful house", "We’ll adopt a dog.” But there’s no intent of actually making it real. These are just empty words with no actions to back them up. It’s deceptive, but not always malicious. Some just blurt things out of excitement or trying to gain favour, or even to fast-track the connection,” Mittal said.

What’s surprising, nearly 3 in 10 daters have faced some form of ‘future faking’ in their entire dating lifecycle. This has been in the form of serious talks about the future within weeks of matching online or meeting someone in real life. The medium of introduction doesn’t really matter in this.

How to catch ‘future faking’ early in a relationship

While it might not always be vicious, it is a toxic dating behaviour that needs identifying and nipping in the bud. Mittal said, “The act reveals itself through words. The prime indicators are big promises but small and insincere effort, making long-term plans but failing to keep even the short-term commitments, and an inconsistent communication pattern. If someone says they would like to take you to the most romantic place in the world and get down on one knee and propose to you someday, and yet, they couldn’t even care to sincerely plan the first date, there are high chances that the person is full of talk. Future talk that does not match the present-day action is the biggest indicator of this toxic behaviour.”

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The best way to manage ‘future faking’ is by slowing down and asking yourself once in a while: does their effort match their vision. It is important to understand that future talks aren’t the enemy here. It’s a few people’s lack of intent or effort to follow through.