Victoria Beckham reflects on her past struggles with eating disorder: " I didn’t like what I saw"

She explained that the lack of control over how she was portrayed in the media led her to focus obsessively on controlling her weight and clothing, but in an unhealthy way.

Victoria Beckham’s new self-titled docuseries premiered on Netflix on October 9, Thursday, offering an intimate look into her life and struggles.

In the series, the fashion designer and former Spice Girl opens up about her long battle with an eating disorder, which worsened after she gave birth to her first child, eldest son Brooklyn, in 1999, and as she adjusted to motherhood.

Victoria spoke candidly about how public scrutiny affected her self-image. She said that after constant comments on her weight in tabloids and on television, she began to doubt herself and became very critical of her appearance.

“I really started to doubt myself and not like myself, you know, because I let it affect me,” she said. “I was just very critical of myself. I didn’t like what I saw. I’ve been everything from Porky Posh to Skinny Posh.”

She explained that the lack of control over how she was portrayed in the media led her to focus obsessively on controlling her weight and clothing, but in an unhealthy way.

“I had no control over what was being written about me, pictures that were being taken, and I suppose I wanted to control that, you know? I could control it with clothing, I could control my weight, and I was controlling it in an incredibly unhealthy way,” she admitted.

Victoria also revealed that the disorder made her skilled at hiding the truth. “When you have an eating disorder, you become very good at lying,” she said. “And I was never honest about it with my parents. I never talked about it publicly. It really affects you when you’re being told, constantly, you’re not good enough.”

The three-part series also follows Victoria as she prepares for Paris Fashion Week and gives rare insight into her daily life. She revisits her time with the Spice Girls, sharing that the transition from being in the group, which disbanded in 2000, to becoming a wife and mother was challenging.

Also read: Victoria Beckham’s family supports her at Netflix Documentary Premiere, son Brooklyn visibly absent

Ahead of the release, Victoria attended the premiere party in London on October 8 with her family. Her eldest son Brooklyn was noticeably absent amid ongoing rumors of a family feud.

This isn’t Victoria’s first Netflix appearance. She previously featured in her husband David’s four-part docuseries, Beckham, in 2023, which chronicled his journey to becoming a sports icon.