How to spot a narcissist in a relationship, and protect yourself from manipulation

Narcissists overwhelm you with affection in what’s called “love bombing.” They’ll flood you with constant attention, lavish praise, and big declarations of soulmates and forever (Image: Pexels)

They say opposites attract, but when the “opposite” happens to be a narcissist, the attraction often leads to chaos. Narcissistic personality traits are rooted in a fragile sense of self-worth, yet they manifest as arrogance, manipulation, and a constant hunger for admiration. At first, they may come across as magnetic and charming, but behind the grand gestures are the hidden dark personality traits.

Narcissists rarely start off showing their true colours. Instead, they overwhelm you with affection in what’s called “love bombing.” They’ll flood you with constant attention, lavish praise, and big declarations of soulmates and forever. Rapid intimacy feels flattering, but it’s a strategy designed to hook you quickly. If someone pushes too hard, too fast, or makes you feel like you’re living in a fairytale only weeks into knowing them, consider it a red flag

Knowing classic signs early can save you from being trapped in a cycle of gaslighting, blame-shifting, and emotional exhaustion.

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Watch out for these behavioral patterns:

• Gaslighting: They deny things they’ve said or done, making you doubt your memory or sanity.

• Lack of empathy: Your feelings don’t land with them—they may seem bored, dismissive, or outright indifferent.

• Entitlement: Whether it’s snapping at waitstaff or expecting you to cater to their every whim, they believe rules don’t apply to them.

• Extreme sensitivity to criticism: Any attempt at feedback feels like an attack, and you’ll be punished for daring to point it out.

• Isolation: They may subtly drive wedges between you and your friends or family, cutting you off from support.

• Devaluation: The person who once called you perfect will start to nitpick, belittle, or outright insult you.

• Jealousy and control: Your time, clothes, or even meals may suddenly be under scrutiny, all masked as “care.”

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How to protect yourself:

Escaping narcissistic abuse takes clarity and strength. Fighting fire with fire won’t work as they thrive on drama. You can take their power by refusing to play their game. Be factual, not emotional. Be firm, not apologetic. And most importantly, be loyal to yourself. Keep a record of how they’ve hurt you so nostalgia doesn’t drag you back into the fantasy.

• Set firm boundaries: Let them know you won’t tolerate disrespect. A calm, clear statement like, “I’ll continue this conversation when it’s respectful,” works better than arguing.

• Detach emotionally: Don’t feed their need for reactions. The “grey rock” method -- keeping responses short, neutral, and uninteresting takes away their fuel.

• Prioritize yourself: Invest in hobbies, friendships, and routines that remind you of your worth outside the relationship. Self-care isn’t indulgent; it’s survival.

• Seek support: Talk to trusted friends or professionals who can ground you in reality when gaslighting clouds your judgment. If this is happening at work, document everything to protect yourself.

• Cut ties if needed: When patterns don’t change, blocking them across all platforms is often the healthiest choice. Complete no-contact breaks the cycle of abuse.