Benched, ghosted, or in a situationship? Here’s what these modern dating terms really mean

With dating apps giving unlimited choices, social media making everyone accessible 24/7, and relationship terms sounding complicated, it’s no wonder feelings are all over the place (Image: Pexels)

I was talking to my 20-something nephew the other day when I noticed he looked low. You know that distant kind of mood where you can tell something’s off, but they’re not saying much?

“Everything okay?” I asked.

He gave me a half-shrug and muttered, “The girl I’m seeing is benching me.”

I was clueless. “Benching”? I thought maybe he’d joined a gym or something. But clearly, this wasn’t about fitness.

Also read | What is ‘Mankeeping’, a trend that’s making women question relationship choices

What is love bombing: When someone showers you with attention, compliments, and affection early on, way too fast, just to hook you in (Image: Pexels)

He sighed and explained, “She keeps texting me sometimes, flirts here and there, but nothing ever really happens. It’s like she doesn’t want to date me, but also doesn’t want me to move on.”

He said it casually, like he wasn’t bothered. But you could hear the hurt between the lines. Like children these days, he wasn’t expecting comfort or advice. He just wanted to be heard. I was just the sounding board, apparently. But as I sat there, listening, I realised that relationships these days are full of terms you don’t quite get. Back in the day, you were either “together” or “not.” You dated. You broke up. But today, you need a dictionary just to survive the dating world.

Honestly, with dating apps giving people unlimited choices, social media making everyone accessible 24/7, and relationship terms sounding more complicated than Shashi Tharoor’s vocabulary, it’s no wonder feelings are all over the place.

Also read | Couples who meet online are reportedly less happy. Study explains why

So in case you're like me, feeling a bit lost in this new dating jungle, here are 8 modern dating terms you should know (before your niece, nephew, or your own child mentions them).

• Benching: It’s when they are not dating you, but not letting you go either. They check-in just enough to keep you hanging.

• Ghosting: When someone just disappears, no explanation, no information, no goodbye. One day, they are texting heart emojis, the next deafening silence.

• Breadcrumbing: It’s when they give you just enough attention to keep you interested, but never actually take things forward. A confusing situation indeed.

• Situationship: You’re more than friends, but not a couple. You have feelings for each other, maybe intimacy, but no clear label. It’s messy and often heartbreaking.

• Orbiting: They’ve stopped talking to you, but they’re still watching your Instagram stories, liking your posts, and staying in your online life. They’re gone, but not really.

• Cushioning: Keeping other “options” on the side while still in a relationship, just in case things don’t work out. It’s like an emotional backup. Not fair, but it happens.

• Love bombing: When someone showers you with attention, compliments, and affection early on, way too fast, just to hook you in. It feels great at first, but it can turn manipulative or controlling later.

• Zombie-ing: When someone who ghosted you suddenly comes back into your life out of nowhere, like a text at 2 AM saying, “Hey stranger.” You thought they were gone? Nope. Back from the dating dead.