Funnycontrol | The manager from sales hell

My bank relationship manager suddenly called one day and said: “Sir, we need to do FD together”. I never thought my relationship with my relationship manager extending to him thinking I would want to do exotic drugs with him.

Perplexed, I asked him to explain further.

“No sir," he persisted, "I need a fixed deposit”. But I had heard this tone before. A tone that tries to sell someone else’s wants as your need.

I must have said something to convey I was on to him when he blurted: “Sir, I have a target”.

The penny dropped. Having been at the receiving end of a Zoom call from hell with a boss who showed us how Hitler’s career in financial sales would have panned out, I empathized at one level. I have been the target of many such difficult targets.
Many may have seen the original video from a movie where Hitler is shouting at his minions which has been used to make many memes. One expects exactly the same thing to happen again. (Don’t be surprised if the recent HDFC video is re-shared with titles like “My mom, when I forget Tupperware box in office”.)

@HDFC_Bank Regional Branch Banking Head - Pushpal Roy at Kolkata threatening and abusing his team for not getting desired numbers. चाल चरित्र और चेहरा of the organisation. And they manage @GPTW_India awards. Legacy of #adityapuri Listen n RT. cc @VinayHDFCBank @ravisunHDFCBank pic.twitter.com/IxlzGftakY

— Madanlal Dahariya (@MDahariya) June 5, 2023

The most entertaining part of writing this article for me was to search for a version of the video with an English translation. But honestly one could get a “If Carrie Minati was a HDFC sales manager” vibe even without knowing the language. Given the nature of social media, don’t be surprised if the suspended employee Pushpal Roy (who has push in his name) soon has a bigger YouTube following than Carrie Minati.

Many people were highlighting how the video shows the pressure on financial institutions to sell and cross-sell products. There was a lot of aggressive finger-pointing by the boss which reminded me so much of all my Hindi teachers I’m just amazed he didn’t manage to throw a chalk at someone through the zoom call.

The manager also demanded updates every hour. Ask any GenZ college girl and she’ll say: “Lol, my dad checks up on me every 5 mins. And my mother checks up behind me every 10 mins. If I don’t reply for 1 hour, they would presume I’m dead or becoming a YouTuber. I’m not sure what would be worse for them.”

My personal experience opening a current account with a bank was dodging the branch manager’s merciless attempts to push me into a Rs 1 lakh minimum balance account. Never mind the imbalance in my finances.

On the more serious charge of mis-selling due to excess sales pressure, one can say they are only following the tradition of Indian arranged marriages. Where all sorts of misses and mrs are mis-sold to each other. And the anger of the manager was very akin to the Fufaji at the wedding who demands why 75 dishes have not been served as per his preference.

Along the same lines I wish to end this article by DEMANDING FROM MY READERS THAT YOU GIVE ME 5o,000 LIKES! 500,000 SHARES AND 5 MILLION COMMENTS BY THE END OF THE DAY! I WILL CHECK BACK EVERY 1 HOUR!