Why Matthew Perry’s death feels personal to millennials

As Chandler Bing, Matthew Perry got some of the funniest, most memorable lines in F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Matthew Perry, who played Chandler Bing on the iconic sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S., died at 54 on October 29. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. ran on television from 1994 to 2004, but the reruns, clips, memes, merchandise have made sure it feels contemporary. People who started watching it as teens are now greying and still turn to F.R.I.E.N.D.S. as a guilty pleasure. Newer generations have watched the reruns and the show has cult status among those too who were not even born when it first aired.

In 2021, F.R.I.E.N.D.S: The Reunion - with the lead cast of Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer revisiting sets and episodes - was seen by over a million Indians within hours of it premiering on May 27.

For millennials, Perry's death feels personal. He was us, we were him. No wonder Chandler Bing is one of the most quoted characters. Here are some of his most memorable lines:

“Hi, I’m Chandler. I make jokes when I’m uncomfortable.”

Sarcasm and self-deprecation are our tools. Much before people started talking about mental health issues and therapy was normalized, humour was our self-defence.

“I can handle this. 'Handle' is my middle name. Actually, 'handle' is the middle of my first name.”

Most of us millennials didn't learn to say no till we were in our late 30s. We were conditioned to believe we can "handle" everything. When we see Gen Z setting boundaries and saying no to things they can't or don't want to handle, we may write them off as lazy but deep down we wonder - "wow, is that an option?"

“I want to start drinking in the morning. Don’t say I don’t have goals!”

This one was just a funny dialogue until we saw it in a rerun in our late 20s, then it hit us hard. Our romantic and ambitious goals had gone through a reality check. We were ready for more realistic goals and sometimes just to escape chasing goals.

“I’m a gym member. I try to go four times a week, but I’ve missed the last 1,200 times.”

Some of us are marathon runners, some are practicing Yoga and Tai Chi. But many of us are in a lifelong battle with ourselves to be fit and disciplined. When we were growing up, people older than us just grew older. Now that we are older, we are told we need to look and feel younger. Who misplaced that memo? Case in point, Perry’s colleagues from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Jenniffer Aniston is 54 and fab! I bet she is going to the gym every day.

“I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I had to do, but when I saw you walking down the aisle, I realized how simple it was. I love you.”

Much has been written about the fear of commitment among millennials. Who would have thought that the commitment-phobic Chandler and the control-freak Monica would end up as “best friends in love” and would be the loving, stable couple with children when the show ended. That’s the thing with millennials, once we get over our fears and the stars align, we are all in for most things in life.

Also read: Why millennials are the most nostalgic generation yet

“They can’t fire me because I quit. I mean, why should everybody else do what they like, except for me?”

Statistical analysis and data reconfiguration- that’s the job that Chandler did which his friends didn’t quite understand. He was good at it, but he hated it. It took him a while to step out of his comfort zone, give up a career and a paycheck to start a career in advertising. We millennials are slow at building risk appetite, aren’t we?

"Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old."

Chandler has a dysfunctional family. Without even realizing, he creates an alternative family with his friends. He becomes the parent he did not have to his friend Joey. Just like the show, we have friends who have become family. It’s hard to tell if life imitates art or vice versa.

Could we be any more like Chandler?