Healing Space | What gets in the way of your creative performance

Unlock the expressions of creativity that once brought you joy. (Illustration by Suneesh K.)

Note to readers:Healing Space is a weekly series that helps you dive into your mental health and take charge of your wellbeing through practical DIY self-care methods.

Consider that you are someone who has had a dream, and now you have the means to fulfil your dream, except you are now older, have other responsibilities and have gone off and done other things in life. You’re a teacher, a parent, a grandparent even, a mentor, a social doyen in your own little circle. But something in you still wants to dance, or act, or be an artist, a poet, a singer, a guitarist, a stand-up comic. How many of you would attend a local talent night, an open mic, or ramping it up, rent a local club space to take to the stage?

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Creativity is an act of courage because it is about expressing the self in its rawest and truest desire and talent. And here’s the thing, you can’t really be creative until you are prepared to fail, look bad or accept criticism from the audience. It isn’t even about being perfect, we’re not talking about winning Grammys or Oscars and Filmfare awards. We have for some reason told ourselves that unless we’re going to put out an award-winning performance, we shouldn’t even do it. When in fact, as you grow older and you watch and listen and develop your own taste, you realie often what you think of as the most award-worthy works rarely are feted. Awards are about lobbying and visibility, connection and network as much as about theme and subject at a specific time and political climate. Some merit-worthy works, like Elephant Whisperers, win. Others, however, don’t. And some unworthy ones (by your own estimation) do. Hence, what a great work actually is, is deeply subjective even at the highest end of the spectrum, whether it’s Guru Dutt’s Pyaasa or Shaunak Sen’s All That Breathes. A lot many poets, artists, writers resonate with us because they happen to be in the right place in the right time, and not because they hold an objective and blanket perfection of work.

This quest for perfection stalls us from expression, points out Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way, the bible on unlocking creativity. When you begin to work on your first draft your initial sketch, your baseline performance, you are convinced you can never be a Picasso, or a Mohammed Rafi, or a Rukmini Devi Arundale, or whoever else you idolize. However, you’re already being unfair to yourself because you’re comparing your first draft to the final work of an already declared master of the craft. The right thing to do would be to compare your first draft to their first draft, before they were discovered or even beginning. That’s where you are right now.

You have talents and skills that you have given up on because life got in the way. Think about yourself when you were playing or performing in your school days. It doesn’t matter if it was a game of cricket, football or dancing. Think not about your stated talent, but about how you felt while performing: Happy? Free? Light? Productive? Creative? Fulfilled? Exhilarated? Also nervous in prepping for the performance. If you’re a part of the average workforce, ask yourself how long it has been since you have felt that way.

We think that creativity and its expression is about the audience, or merit, or awards, but it’s actually not. It’s about you. Creative expression enables you to appreciate that you have a unique point of view in the world, and that it’s okay that everyone may not get it. In fact, they probably won’t, but it is what makes you uniquely you. It is what you bring to the world. And you have a right to not just put it out there with pride, but to celebrate it, and yourself in the process. For a performance to be critically considered, it first has to be recorded, noted, performed. Most of us critically dismiss what we are capable of even before it has been created. Go on, put yourself out there. Dance like nobody’s watching.

1.      Unlock the expressions of creativity that once brought you joy.

2.      Don’t think about what you create, but how it makes you feel to create.

3.      Forget the quest for perfection. It is a myth and comes from fear of failure.

4.      People will judge you. Let them. Perform for yourself.

5. Use the small mediums open to you, digital, social, to express yourself. Don’t wait for the big break and don’t let the critical assessment push you back. Use it to self-correct.