Addiction is a disease, not a moral failing: What the Reiner case reveals

Addiction is a disease, not a moral failing: What the Reiner case reveals

For much of his life, Nick Reiner’s struggle with addiction played out in cycles. There were repeated stints in rehab, stretches of homelessness, medical emergencies and volatile behaviour that put enormous strain on his family. His parents, filmmaker Rob Reiner and writer Michele Singer Reiner, spoke openly over the years about how hard they were trying to help him.

This week, that long struggle ended in tragedy when the 32-year-old was charged with murdering both his parents.

Prosecutors have not said whether drugs or alcohol played a role in the killings, and there has been no public disclosure about Reiner’s mental health. Even so, the case has struck a chord far beyond Hollywood. Families across the United States say it reflects a reality they know too well, living for years with addiction that does not respond neatly to treatment, the New York Times reported.

A crisis many families recognise

Public health estimates suggest around 50 million Americans struggle with drug or alcohol addiction. Specialists say relapse is common, and that recovery often involves multiple attempts at treatment rather than a single turning point. Overdose remains the leading cause of death for Americans aged 18 to 45.

For parents, the cost is not only emotional. Many spend savings, borrow heavily or lose their homes trying to keep their children alive. Pattie Vargas, a California mother whose daughter lived on the streets during her addiction and whose son died of heart failure linked to drug use, said she exhausted her finances paying for treatment.

“This is a health crisis,” Vargas said. “It’s not a moral failing. It’s an illness.”

Why resources are not enough

The Reiner family’s experience challenges a common assumption that access to the best care guarantees recovery. As the son of a well-known Hollywood figure, Nick Reiner had access to top treatment programmes and specialists. Still, nothing stuck for long.

Gary Mendell, whose son died by suicide after years of addiction, says this belief can be damaging. Mendell later founded the nonprofit Shatterproof, which focuses on addiction reform.

“I had the money to do anything,” he said. “But that didn’t save my son.”

He said shame and stigma often prevent people from staying in treatment, regardless of how much support is available.

Regret and hard choices

In interviews years earlier, Rob Reiner reflected publicly on decisions he and his wife made while trying to help their son. At times, he said, they trusted professionals over their child’s own account of what was not working for him.

That admission has resonated with other caregivers who say they are often criticised no matter what they do. Some are told they are enabling their children. Others are urged to let them “hit rock bottom,” advice many families say feels dangerous and unrealistic.

Advocates argue that such thinking oversimplifies addiction and discourages parents from seeking long-term support.

Violence, addiction and fear

Most people with addiction never harm others. Experts stress that addiction is far more closely linked to self-harm than to violence. In rare cases, however, certain substances combined with untreated mental illness can increase the risk of dangerous behaviour.

These cases tend to draw intense attention, often reinforcing public fear and misunderstanding. Researchers say it remains extremely difficult to predict who will recover and who will not. Some people stabilise after many failed attempts. Others never do.

The uncertainty leaves families suspended between hope and dread for years.

What happens after rehab

Advocates say the Reiner case also highlights gaps in how addiction treatment is structured in the US. Many rehabilitation programmes focus on short-term detox and stabilisation, with limited support once patients leave. Access to counselling, medication, housing assistance and overdose reversal drugs like Narcan varies widely.

For people who do survive addiction, shame can linger long after substance use ends. Those in recovery often describe years lost to guilt and secrecy, emotions that delay seeking help and deepen isolation.

A larger story behind the headlines

The deaths of Rob and Michele Reiner have become a public symbol of a much broader crisis. Behind the headlines is a familiar story for millions of families, one in which love, effort and resources collide with a disease that does not behave rationally or fairly.

As the legal process continues, advocates hope the focus moves away from blame and toward a clearer understanding of addiction as a chronic, relapsing illness that requires sustained care, patience and compassion.