Indian-origin techie’s Reddit post on 30 years in Europe sparks debate on workplace loneliness: 'superficial warmth'

A techie says career success could not fill the emotional void. (Image credit: Pixels)

• Indian-origin IT professional shares loneliness after 30 years working in Europe
• He describes workplace relationships as friendly but rarely lasting beyond work
• Viral Reddit post sees global users sharing similar experiences

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A Reddit post by an Indian-origin IT professional sharing his 30 years of working in Europe has gained widespread attention from users across countries, on loneliness, surface-level relationships and professional connections.

The 59-year-old techie shared in his post, “Three decades in IT in Europe left me with a void”, that he spent his entire professional life in the Netherlands, building a successful career, rising from programmer and architect to senior management in large banks, across 15 employers.

“This gave me exposure to numerous people in several countries, working in technical, sales, finance, and marketing roles. My net worth is about 4 million USD, and I am debt-free, comfortably living in Europe with an EU nationality,” he wrote.

The techie professional revealed that the absence of long-term connections in his life was his biggest disappointment. “It is not that I did not put any effort into it. On the contrary, I invested a lot in building relationships. Yet, I learnt that a working relationship lasts only as long as the work lasts,” adding that former colleagues rarely stay in touch.

The techie reminisced about off-site trips, vacations together, dinners at home and celebrations that created a strong sense of family among colleagues.

He described Dutch workplace culture as friendly and warm at first, but added that it rarely transforms into solid relationships. “In the Netherlands, colleagues behaved exceedingly friendly during company drinks, sharing stories about their kids and pets, and even about their first encounters with their girlfriends,” he wrote, calling the warmth superficial, as people he once worked closely with later turned icy and avoided his calls.

The techie questioned whether it was the nature of professional life or a part of European culture. He said that despite doing well in this career, he remained isolated. “I feel that even after achieving so much financially and career-wise, I am left with a void that will be impossible to fill,” he concluded.

The post quickly went viral, with several users sharing their experience.

Three decades in IT in Europe left me with a void byu/abcdawn inreturnToIndia

One user said, “This has happened to me with Indians too. I don't think this has to do with Europeans. Life has become busy and transactional. Desis whose kids I babysat have ghosted me. Most people are struggling and have no time for friends, even in India. Many are in the sandwich generation: looking after kids and parents. I have learned to enjoy my own company.”

Another Redditor wrote, “Sounds like you were mostly in Germany. I can relate, although I have been just 12 years here, I am young and quite outgoing.

A third user commented, “I live in Sweden, it feels like that is how life is in Europe, even for Europeans. Mostly they have friends since school times and then they stop making friends. I think in general hard to make friends in India after 30s. So it's mostly family and hobbies.”