Caution: Reading books may expose you to different points of view

According to a recent Reuters report, the Hungarian government has ordered a publisher to print disclaimers identifying books that contain “behaviour inconsistent with traditional gender roles”. The specific title that brought this about was Wonderland Is for Everyone, a fairy tale anthology including stories with gay themes. It’s published by Labrisz, an organisation devoted to making the lives and issues of lesbian, bisexual and transgender women more visible.

This is a new type of trigger warning for a new age. It’s not meant to defend the individual reader but to preserve those in power, asserting so-called traditional values in the face of necessary social change.

If this catches on, you can expect versions of such disclaimers everywhere, blunting Kafka’s assertion that a book must be an ice axe for the frozen sea within us. Here, then, are some examples of what may come to pass.

Caution: George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four describes the actions of a totalitarian state that does not allow people to think for themselves. Not all totalitarian states behave in this manner. Once you get to know them, some are actually quite nice.

Attention: Bram Stoker’s Dracula portrays vampires in a less than flattering light. Do note that only some vampires are blood-sucking parasites. There are others who are content with simply demanding your time, attention and, in some cases, your money.

Stay vigilant: The novels and short stories by Conan Doyle featuring a pipe-smoking Sherlock Holmes are diverting and absorbing, but the reader should not emulate the detective by applying rational thought and deduction. The authorities have already taken decisions in your best interests and it would be unwise to question them. It’s elementary.

Beware: Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 depicts a world of firemen who burn libraries. This is clearly a work of fiction. In real life, firemen are trained to put out blazes, even when public sector services are facing budget cuts due to austerity measures.

Take note: Joseph Heller’s Catch-22 has a persistent anti-war theme and portrays army officers struggling to preserve their sanity. This is not the authorised state of affairs, because war is good and glorious, both for the economy and for weapons manufacturers. (If you are reading this book, chances are you may also pick up Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five which contains similar defeatist elements. Don’t let our soldiers down.)

Careful: Munshi Premchand’s Godaan features scenes of rural deprivation and suffering. This is not necessarily reflective of reality because, as we should know by now, our noble farmers are happy, prosperous and grateful for their lot. We aim to support their endeavours in every way.

Alert: Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart examines the harmful impact of colonialism in Nigeria. As such, it can prove to be distressing for all right-thinking readers who feel that imperialism’s only aim was to be a civilising mission. Approach other points of view with care.

Warning: Flaubert’s Madame Bovary depicts a woman engaged in adulterous affairs, as well as stultifying middle class values. As we have repeatedly pointed out, the conduct of women should be consistent with the highest ideals we have outlined for them. Our surveillance cameras and informers will see to this. The middle class, too, is a beacon of morality and progress, untouched by hypocrisy.

Notice: Albert Camus’s The Plague is about a pestilence that sweeps an Algerian town. However, it has been brought to our attention that some readers view it as an allegory of how totalitarianism can affect society. We advise you not to consider it in this manner, and have also instructed literature professors of this decision.

Caveat: Toni Morrison’s Beloved may cause you to feel sorrow at the way slavery and notions of race have destroyed generations. An antidote is to take deep breaths and check officially-approved news sources. You will realise that inequality and discrimination do not exist, and we are above all a merit-based society.

Watch out: Taken in large doses, the novels of P.G. Wodehouse could cause you to burst into laughter every now and then. Such displays of levity are frowned upon, as they are not character-building and may distract you from the task of improving this quarter’s gross domestic product. Onward!