Does conflict drain you? Follow these expert tips to stay grounded, practice self-love during arguments

Relationship tips: When emotions start running high, taking control of your breath can help you stay calm. Practice deep inhales for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and exhale for 6 seconds (Image: Canva)

Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, but how it affects you can vary dramatically. Some people find themselves feeling emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed, or even physically unwell after a disagreement. This isn’t just a passing mood; signs like headaches, sleeplessness, or feeling disconnected can point to how deeply conflict impacts your mind and body.

If conflicts affect you negatively, it’s time to prioritise yourself by staying grounded and practicing self-love during and after disagreements, says Aamish Dhingra, ICF-PCC Certified Life Coach and Co-Founder of Cocoweave Coaching International. “Conflicts often feel draining because they can leave you emotionally depleted," he says, adding, “Learning to regulate your emotions during such times strengthens your relationships and also nurtures your own well-being."

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Dhingra suggests some strategies to help you manage conflicts with grace while staying emotionally balanced:

Focus on deep breathing: When emotions start running high, taking control of your breath can help you stay calm. Practice deep inhales for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and exhale for 6 seconds. “This technique activates the parasympathetic nervous system, helping your body shift out of fight-or-flight mode,” advises Dhingra. “It’s a simple yet powerful way to stay grounded in the moment.”

Agree to disagree: Many conflicts escalate because people talk over each other or focus solely on defending their own points. Instead, make an effort to truly listen. Reflect what the other person is saying for clarity and understanding. Dhingra suggests, “Rephrasing what someone has expressed shows that you value their perspective, even if you don’t agree. This can instantly reduce tension.”

Set healthy boundaries: If a conversation starts to spiral into negativity, give yourself permission to pause. Politely let the other person know you need time to process your thoughts before continuing. “Taking a break doesn’t mean avoiding the issue. It’s about respecting your emotional limits and returning to the discussion with a clear mind,” Dhingra says.

Reflect without blame: Instead of focusing on who’s at fault, reflect on how you handled the argument. Ask yourself questions like, Could I have communicated my feelings more clearly? How can I prevent misunderstandings in the future? This shift in perspective helps you learn from conflicts rather than letting them consume you.

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Acknowledge your emotions: Ignoring or suppressing emotions only leads to unresolved issues and lingering tension. Journaling or confiding in a trusted friend can help you process your feelings. “Acknowledging your emotions is an act of self-love,” says Dhingra. “It allows you to release negative energy and gain clarity on the situation.”

Engage in self soothing: After a heated argument, focus on activities that bring you peace. Try meditation, yoga, a warm bath, or listening to calming music. “Self-soothing doesn’t mean running away from the problem. It’s about grounding yourself so you can approach the situation with a calm and balanced mindset,” Dhingra clarifies.