Anthony Hopkins on family estrangement: “I did what I could, you can’t live in resentment”

Anthony Hopkins on family estrangement: “I did what I could, you can’t live in resentment”

• Anthony Hopkins talked about estrangement from his daughter on NYT podcast.
• Hopkins emphasized letting go of resentment and accepting human imperfection
• He wishes his daughter well but won't revisit the past or reopen old wounds.

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Anthony Hopkins has spoken candidly about family estrangement in a recent clip from The New York Times podcast The Interview, where he was asked about his difficult relationship with his daughter.

The conversation began with the host acknowledging the topic could be sensitive. Hopkins immediately signalled discomfort about turning his private life into a public discussion, saying, “I know what you’re gonna talk about my domestic life.” The host then clarified that he did not want to push Hopkins into details, even if parts of the story appear in Hopkins’s memoir, We Did OK, Kid.

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Instead, the host asked a broader question about reconciliation between estranged parents and children. He explained that the part of the book dealing with Hopkins’s estranged relationship with his daughter felt painful because it resonated with him personally. He shared that he has seen his own father only twice in 20 years and spoken to him once in that time, adding that his estrangement was his own choice. He said he was curious about what reconciliation might look like in situations like these.

Hopkins replied with a brief account of one attempt at reconnecting. “My wife, Stella, sent an invitation to come and see us,” he said. “Not a word of response.” He then described how he chose to respond emotionally. “So I think, okay, fine. I wish her well. But I’m not gonna waste blood over that,” he said.

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Hopkins also spoke strongly about the cost of holding on to resentment. “If you wanna waste your life being in resentment, oh, 50 years later, 58 years later, fine, go ahead,” he said. “It’s not in my can.” He added that while it might be tempting to keep replaying the past, it destroys peace of mind. “See, I could carry resentment over the past, this and the other. But that’s death. You’re not living,” he said.

He framed his view through a blunt understanding of human nature. “You have to acknowledge one thing, that we are imperfect. We’re not saints,” he said. “We’re all sinners and saints, or whatever we are. We do the best we can. Life is painful.”

Hopkins ended by saying he had done what he could and did not want to keep reopening the wound. “But you can’t live like that,” he said. “You have to say, get over it. And if you can’t get over it, fine. Good luck to you. But I have no judgment. I did what I could.”

When the host asked if he hoped his daughter would read the book, Hopkins shut the question down. “I’m not gonna answer that, no. I don’t care,” he said, before explaining his reason: “Because I don’t wanna hurt her.”