5 types of divorce explained: From meno to grey, and why more couples are splitting later in life

Types of divorce: From menopause-driven decisions to long-term separations in later life, understanding different types of divorce helps society, and those experiencing it (Image: Canva)

• Gray divorce rates have doubled since 1990 for those over 50 in the US.
• Long marriages end due to personal fulfillment, independence, and longer lifespans.
• Five divorce types: gray, meno, no-fault, collaborative, high-conflict.

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On Oprah Winfrey’s podcast recently, the topic of divorce after decades of marriage came up, and it was enough to make anyone sit up. “Recently, I started hearing about more and more people who have been married for decades starting to get divorced. Has anybody else heard this?” Oprah asked.

The answer was a resounding yes. What once seemed impossible, leaving a marriage after 20, 30, even 40 years, is happening with alarming frequency, particularly among older adults.

Divorce rates overall may be at a 50-year low in the United States, but a trend dubbed gray divorce is soaring. According to Dr Susan Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research, the number of divorces for people over 50 has doubled since 1990, and for those over 65, it has tripled. In other words, the idea of staying “till death do us part” is being challenged in ways society hasn’t seen before.

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Even high‑profile figures like Bill Gates, who was around 65 when he and Melinda French Gates divorced after 27 years of marriage, have shone a light on the trend. Closer home, in India, Oscar‑winning composer A R Rahman, who was around 57 when he and his wife Saira Banu announced their separation after 29 years together, shows that even those we think of as icons are facing the same emotional crossroads many couples encounter later in life.

So, why are couples in their 50s, 60s, or even later, choosing to separate? Experts suggest a mix of societal, emotional, and financial factors. Marriage today is no longer just about survival; it’s about personal fulfilment. Women’s increased participation in the workforce means financial independence is no longer a barrier. Add in longer life expectancy, health improvements, and a desire to make the most of the years ahead, and suddenly divorce becomes not just possible, but sometimes preferable.

Divorce today isn’t just about ending a marriage; it’s about redefining the rest of one’s life. From menopause-driven decisions to long-term separations in later life, understanding these types helps society, and those experiencing it.

5 types of divorce

Gray divorce

Divorce after age 50, often in long-term marriages, is known as gray divorce. It’s trending because people are living longer, women are financially independent, and the pursuit of personal happiness has become a priority. For many, spending another twenty years in a marriage that no longer works simply isn’t appealing.

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Meno divorce or menopause divorce

A close cousin of gray divorce, meno divorceoccurs during menopause, typically between ages 45 to 55. Hormonal changes the empty nest, and midlife reflections often prompt women to re-evaluate decades old marriages. It’s a turning point that can be as emotional as it is liberating, overlapping with gray divorce trends but with a unique midlife twist.

No-fault divorce

No-fault divorce has revolutionised legal proceedings by allowing couples to separate without proving wrongdoing. The common justification? “Irreconcilable differences.” It’s a practical, less confrontational option that’s widely available and increasingly chosen by couples seeking a clean break.

Collaborative divorce

Some couples seek a gentler route through collaborative divorce, involving lawyers, mediators, and sometimes financial or mental health professionals. The goal is negotiation and mutual agreement rather than courtroom battles, making it ideal for those who want to reduce stress and preserve civility.

High-conflict divorce

Not all separations are calm. High-conflict divorce involves ongoing disputes, emotional tension, and sometimes hostility. It’s often unavoidable in complex family dynamics and may require court intervention, mediation, or therapy.