Parental Alienation: How family fights harm children and what can be done

When parental conflicts turn into alienation, children suffer deep emotional scars. Early intervention and therapy can help heal and rebuild family bonds. (Image: Pexels)

When parents fight, children often get caught in the middle. But sometimes, the conflict goes a step further—a parent convinces the child to dislike or even reject the other. This is called parental alienation.

“It’s not just an adult argument, it’s emotional harm for the child,” says Dr Astik Joshi, Child, Adolescent & Forensic Psychiatrist at Fortis Healthcare, New Delhi. “Sadly, the effects can last for years unless families recognise the problem and seek help early", he adds.

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Parental alienation usually begins during high-conflict divorces or separations. A parent, driven by anger or resentment, may try to win the child’s loyalty. “Sometimes it’s deliberate; other times it happens unconsciously, but the child ends up paying the price,” explains Dr Joshi.

The signs are often confusing. A child who once enjoyed both parents’ company may suddenly refuse to meet one of them, echoing negative things they’ve heard. “The worrying part is when kids lose the normal mix of emotions and show only rejection”, Dr Joshi shares.

Speaking about the impact on children, he says, “The damage isn’t always visible right away. Children may feel guilty, anxious, or sad, but as they grow up, they may struggle with trust, closeness, or stability in relationships. Moreover, alienation shapes how children see love and safety—it makes them more cautious, even fearful, of intimacy.”

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The solution lies in shifting the focus. “The key is to shift focus from fighting to healing. Therapy gives children a safe space to talk, while co-parenting counselling helps parents communicate better. Support groups also remind families they’re not alone ”, Dr Joshi emphasises, adding, “The child’s well-being must come before the parents’ egos.” Recovery is slow, but possible. With love, consistency, and professional help, families can rebuild bonds.

“Every child has the right to love both parents. It is our duty as adults to protect that right", Dr Joshi concludes.