Harry and the half-price prince

Prince Harry's book was available at half-price to those who pre-ordered it in the UK. (Photo: Bloomberg)

Prince Harry’s book Spare is garnering unsparing ridicule from many quarters. Written in the spirit of new-age share-a-thon, it has split people primarily into for and against therapy at first read. With Harry confessing to the many routes he took to making peace with the tragedy of losing his mother, Princess Diana, the question many are asking is if there is such a thing as being over-therapised.

Spare details his angst, pangs, traumatic past, tumultuous present and everything in between in the greatest detail. In a verbose bonfire of fraught moments overshooting 400 pages, he recounts every single thing he remembers in the way he remembers it. There are scuffles with brother Prince William, heir to the British throne, an unflattering look at Camilla, King Charles’ second wife, and terse texts between Kate, William’s wife, and Meghan, Harry’s wife…

The three interviews he gave in the run-up to the book’s release – though the Spanish version hit the markets early and kept translators busy – stand as analysed as his book, especially the part where he denies that he or his wife ever called the royal family racist. Having picked up a prize recently for fighting racism, this has somewhat puzzled the tabloids. It has also brought back the over-aired Oprah Winfrey interview back to TV screens with the part where he and Meghan make these claims playing on a loop.

The audiobook has him reading out every word personally, so that the part about his ‘todger’ (please google this British slang for a more intimate understanding) in his own voice is more disturbing than it is on the printed page. Also, Elizabeth Arden – the cream he said he applied – will never recover its composure as a company perhaps.

The many descriptions of sun and the weather seem to present the prince as also an aspiring poet. Sample this: ‘The weather was quintessentially April. Not quite winter, not yet spring. The trees were bare, but the air was soft. The sky was grey, but the tulips were popping. The light was pale, but the indigo lake, threading through the gardens, glowed.’ This is upon his return after the famous exit from the country, so the free use of ‘but’, plus the detailed study of the weather, are a tad overplayed at what is a tense moment of waiting by the protagonist.

His whereabouts when he learnt of the Queen Mother’s death have gone into a tailspin too. He describes the weather at Eton when this happened, but perhaps he was skiing in Switzerland. So was it ‘bright and warm’ or snowing? Can’t have been both.

His version of the tension between Kate and Meghan does not bring any closure to the prurient curiosity it has always evoked in the masses. Kate, in fact, comes out better than ever before. Who made who cry, we ask, crying uncontrollably ourselves by now.

The book was available at a 50 percent discount to those who pre-ordered it in the UK. As a spare who is slipping further and further away from the British throne, it seems fitting that Harry’s woes won’t always fetch a full price.