Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me no match...

Kerala government has issued a circular which directs all its male employees to sign an undertaking form declaring that they will not promote or accept dowry upon marriage (File image)

We just can’t stop talking about Indian Matchmaking on Netflix. The content, the aftermath, the memes, the reactions, the marital fate of those who appeared on it.... audiences across India are chattering about this sudden broadcast of our mating habits to the world.

Meet Sima, the friendly neighbourhood matchmaker. Like an iconic and legendary fictional character – much like Maria of The Sound of Music or super-nanny Mary Poppins – she lands at your doorstep with a concerned face and a good blow-dry, not to mention appropriate background music. She herself married a stranger after a two-minute chat, and not just recommends this model to one and all wholeheartedly, but is actually making a living off it.

She enters your house, makes a list of your tastes and interests, and activates a jungle drum system so that little elves work nights to locate the perfect partner for you. Into your lap falls a fat folder, full of suitable candidates, a whole harem on paper. The bill follows.

Also Read: ‘Indian Matchmaking’ Review: The Netflix show needs a trigger warning

So you can approach this as a village elder, someone perturbed about bloodlines and family names. If honour killing is a growing statistic in your community, then marriage brokers speaking about traditional values to the straying, silly youth will duly warm your heart. Youngsters – educated, employed – wanting to keep it all in the same caste will mean no more love marriages, and also less idiots to kill.

If you are single and yearning to meet Mr or Miss Right, you will be happy to meet someone like Sima, who will absorb all your worries, sum you up as ‘tall/short’ and ‘fair/dark’, and set you up with each other. What can be more romantic than a room full of anxious hopefuls with a single thought in their head: ‘Will he/she like me?’ Sure to keep the conversation flowing and maintain a general party vibe.

For veteran married folks it is revenge time; to sit back and watch others try to make sense of the anti-courtship route so favoured by Indian matriarchs, while munching popcorn does much to alleviate the pain of marrying ‘right’ without exploring that frisson with classmate or co-worker.

Also read: ‘Adjust, Be Flexible, Compromise’: Is Sima Aunty’s A-B-C of a happy marriage really wrong?

If you are a matchmaker yourself, then you would like to check out the competition, and chuckle amiably over that ever-present word ‘flexible’ when it comes to stubborn working women. Why can’t they nod to any passing groom?

Pradhyuman with his baby clothes for deities, Aparna who is freely criticised for being too choosy, Nadia who is stood up, Vyasar with his past.... they all feel like family now. Akshay, though, went into a gray area. He is the unsolved mystery of Season 1. Was he flattering his mother on a public platform to keep her happy? Is he secretly gay? Is there something on between him and his cousin whom he keeps meeting? Or is he really that into his mom?

Hopefully, Sima aunty will be back with more mismatched couples soon. COVID-19 is sure to add a new twist to the whole ‘boy meets girl’ situation.

Shinie Antony is a writer and editor based in Bangalore. Her books include The Girl Who Couldn't Love, Barefoot and Pregnant, Planet Polygamous, and the anthologies Why We Don’t Talk, An Unsuitable Woman, Boo. Winner of the Commonwealth Short Story Asia Prize for her story A Dog’s Death in 2003, she is the co-founder of the Bangalore Literature Festival and director of the Bengaluru Poetry Festival.