Funnycontrol | Twitter’s new CEO does the Yaccarino

The move of course will free up Elon Musk to do more productive activities like putting a car in space just for thrills. (Illustration by Suneesh K)

Twitter has a new CEO: Linda Yaccarino. Elon Musk made the announcement, saying he was “excited to hire new CEO for Twitter/X”. Before you start wondering if X is a new drug, X is the superapp Elon musk is building – so you can book a cab on Twitter and also complain about the cab driver on the same platform. And if you’re into toxic personalities, you can hookup with the driver on Twitter as well. Hopefully at least this time you will leave a 5-star rating.

You'll recall that in December, Musk had said he would step aside as CEO once he found "someone foolish enough to take the job." The pledge came after millions of Twitter users asked him to step down in a Twitter poll the billionaire himself created. This is a bit like Vijay Mallya volunteering to prepare his own chargesheet.

Elon Musk for NBCUniversal and ended up getting hired as new Twitter CEO" width="770" height="433" /> Elon Musk and Linda Yaccarino. (Image: screengrab from video: elon_alerts/YouTube)

Elon tweeted (And I say this like I know Elon on first-name basis): “She will be starting in 6 weeks”. Which means we can expect 6 more gunshooting hashtags trending on US Twitter by the time she comes on board. Yaccarino (who does not do the Macarena) was head of advertising at NBCUniversal. So one wonder what she'll do with the toxic workplace that Twitter has reportedly become. She is expected to be welcomed with delightful screams of “Hey Yaccarino!!!” by employees who would happily accept a kitchen sink as replacement for Musk.

Yaccarino will of course be taking over Twitter just before the US and Indian general elections next year. Which means her lawyers and her therapist will probably earn as much money as she does. The move of course will free up Elon to do more productive activities like putting a car in space just for thrills. It would be interesting if the first thing she does after becoming CEO is taking away Elon Musk’s blue tick.

Her LinkedIn page says: “Behind any show, on any screen, there’s an entire economic and technology infrastructure at work. No person has a bigger hand in shaping it than Linda Yaccarino”. With such humility, her working relationship with Elon Musk is guaranteed to be fruitful. Since joining NBCU in 2011, her team has generated more than $100 billion in ad sales which means her sales team is probably Bajaj Finance telemarketers.

Last month, while interviewing Musk at a conference she said: “Many of you in this room know me, and you know I pride myself on my work ethic.” She then added, “Buddy, I met my match.” Now let’s hope Elon Musk feels the same way in 2024.  As Twitter’s CEOs have a penchant for being fired on Twitter itself. Let’s hope Linda Yaccarino is not on Twitter next year saying “I will resign as CEO as soon as I find someone foolish”.

Now unlike Elon Musk, I am a little less prone to taking risks. So I will not undertake a survey asking my readers if I should resign from Funnycontrol. They all might just say yes as a joke. But till Elon Musk decides Funnycontrol is the best person to be the CEO of Twitter, let us welcome the new one with a dancing Instagram reel called “Heeeyyyy Yaccarino!!”