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Healing Space | Think twice before going on that year-end vacation

Vacations can be taxing, exhausting and the opposite of what you really need at the end of the year.

December 02, 2023 / 19:36 IST
When you sustain the state of hyper-vigilance for the period most vacations last, anywhere from 2-20 days, you are basically drawing upon the reserve resources of the body. (Illustration by Suneesh K.)

When you sustain the state of hyper-vigilance for the period most vacations last, anywhere from 2-20 days, you are basically drawing upon the reserve resources of the body. (Illustration by Suneesh K.)

Note to readers: Healing Space is a weekly series that helps you dive into your mental health and take charge of your wellbeing through practical DIY self-care methods.

That year-end vacation you have been planning for a while now may not be exactly what you imagine it is going to be – a balm at the end of a taxing year. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it won’t go well. You will probably get the perfect Airbnb, soak in the sun, the poolside, the buffet breakfasts and not have to take a work call once. The sunsets will be picturesque and the village you potter around in will be idyllic. The air will be pollution-free and you may actually catch up on (some of) your to-be-read list. So, why do you feel so exhausted after you get back? You know… like you need a vacation from your vacation?

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Most of us put it down to the anticipation of piled up work, an extra cranky boss and the bills as we get back to reality. But that’s not it. There are a number of reasons why vacations are not as soothing as we mean them to be.

Whenever you are in some place new, your threat perception is immediately put on alert, no matter how nice the place may be. For instance, when you get back to your room, do you just do a quick mental scan to check if everything is as you left it? Are you wary that you locked everything right? When you’re walking down a foreign road or trail, are you watchful of all strangers, and maybe even extra polite to some? You do that because your parasympathetic nervous system is primally attuned to be on alert at all times in strange territory. You’re over-friendly on foreign shores because pleasantness can ward off an attack. You’re engaging the (potential) enemy to get them on your side. This is enhanced if you’re in a place where you don’t speak the language, are of a different race, skin colour, and religion; anything that could potentially mark you out to be a stranger. That’s why we also try to adopt local mannerisms, eat local food and blend in with the town. That’s not to say we don’t enjoy these explorations, we all do enjoy experimenting with the new, the quirky, the off-beat and culturally varied from what we are accustomed to. But that does not mean the underlying sense of threat is eased.

When we are on alert, the levels of the hormone cortisol in our systems is heightened and this puts us in hyper-vigilant mode. So you may be checking for your wallet, money, passports and important papers periodically, even as you’re chuckling it up on the boat ride or metro. When you spend more than 24 hours in a state of hyper-vigilance, you are basically traumatizing yourself. That enthusiastic high that you feel? Hyper-vigilance draws upon adrenaline as well as cortisol to be in a state of preparedness and can feel like a huge swell of energy.

When you sustain the state of hyper-vigilance for the period most vacations last, anywhere between 2-3 days and 10-20 days, you are basically drawing upon the reserve resources of the body. People who are used to high levels of adrenaline rush, such as nurses, doctors and firefighters who have to show up to the scene of tragedy and handle events, draw upon adrenaline and cortisol frequently and therefore have to go through periods of high energy followed by slumps. This leaves them emotionally dysregulated, an experience that feels like a roller coaster of emotions and with PTSD in the aftermath. That is basically what you experience when you go on vacation and return.

If you’re someone who is taking a vacation to compensate for a lack, such as not having the resources when you were younger, a vacation that involves a high spend can also leave you feeling guilt-ridden and anxious, not to mention in debt, if you do take a loan to fund your trip. It can leave you with anxiety when you return and eat into the start of your year. Instead of feeling fresh and rejuvenated, you feel stressed out and exhausted because you’re starting in the slump.

As you can tell, a vacation is not necessarily the best year-end option. If you’re struggling to pay for inflated tickets and hotel rooms to head to crowded spaces so that you will have something fun and cool to show friends and family on social media: don’t. You are better served by taking time off, spending the time healing, eating well, sleeping soundly, waking naturally, getting some exercise and special time with loved ones and pottering about doing the things you enjoy in the safety and security of your own home. Your senses will be rested, and you will begin the following year with a surge of energy.

5 things to do instead of take that trip:

1. Still take that time off but stay home. Fill it with things you enjoy and that relax you.

2. Schedule short day-trips, staycations instead.

3. Go someplace familiar and that feels like home. Granny’s house?

4. If you must travel, carry personal effects like your own towel, pillow and bedsheet, personal pyjamas, your own coffee mug or plate, coffee brand, where possible.

5. Leave valuables behind. Carry the bare minimum. And schedule time to rest at home before you head back to office.

Gayatri is a mind body spirit therapist and author of Ela’s Unfinished Business (Harper Collins, July 2023), among other books. Views expressed are personal.
first published: Dec 2, 2023 07:34 pm

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