Don't raise children with a sense of privilege: Teach them humility, gratitude, compassion instead

Parenting tips: Being grateful is one of the most important lessons you will teach your child. It can be the key to their happiness as they grow up (Image: Canva)

Raising children who are humble, empathetic, and grateful in today’s fast-paced world can be a challenge, especially when they are surrounded by material comforts and instant gratification. Teaching kids to appreciate what they have and to understand the value of hard work is essential to helping them grow into responsible, compassionate adults.

Inculcating habits of gratitude from early on can help them appreciate what they have, while teaching them that hard work pays be a lesson that will serve them throughout their lives. Here are practical ways to avoid raising children with a sense of entitlement or privilege and to encourage gratitude, empathy and humility.

Being grateful is one of the most important lessons you will teach your child. It can be the key to their happiness as they grow up. The Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine also highlights that gratitude fosters better mental health and reduces materialistic tendencies in children. Help your children recognise and appreciate what they have.

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• Encourage them to say “thank you” often and sincerely.
• Introduce a gratitude journal where they can jot down things they’re thankful for each day.
• Make gratitude part of family conversations, such as sharing one thing they’re grateful for during dinner.

Tip: Lead by example—express gratitude openly in your daily life.

Children can test you if they don’t have clear limits. The National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (NIMHANS) emphasises the importance of setting boundaries to develop self-discipline and responsibility in children.

• Providing children with everything they want can give them a sense of entitlement. Set limits on material possessions and privileges.
• Avoid giving in to every demand, even if it’s within your means.
• Teach them to prioritise needs over wants.
• Introduce delayed gratification by encouraging them to save for desired items.

Tip: Explain your decisions to help them understand the reasoning behind limits.

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Children who understand the effort behind success are less likely to take things for granted.

• Assign age-appropriate chores and responsibilities, such as tidying their room, setting the table, or helping with laundry.
• Reward effort, not just results, to teach them that hard work is more important than instant outcomes.
• Help them earn privileges, such as screen time or pocket money, through their efforts.

Tip: Avoid doing tasks for them that they can manage themselves, even if it takes longer.

Teaching children to consider others’ feelings and experiences makes them think about the person instead of only focusing on their own feelings. Research by NIMHANS indicates that nurturing empathy in children leads to improved social relationships and emotional intelligence.

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• Encourage acts of kindness, such as helping a sibling, assisting a neighbour, or volunteering.
• Expose them to diverse perspectives through books, discussions, or experiences that teach them about different ways of life.
• Involve them in charitable activities, such as donating toys, clothes, or food to those in need.

Tip: Discuss the impact of their actions on others to build emotional awareness.

While it’s tempting to reward good behaviour with gifts, doing so frequently can create an expectation for material rewards.

• Use non-material rewards like praise, quality time, or an extra bedtime story.
• Teach them the intrinsic value of doing the right thing, rather than expecting external validation.

Tip: Using experiences, such as a family outing or game night, as rewards instead of toys or gadgets can build stronger emotional bonds, says The Indian Journal of Psychiatry.

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Children learn a lot from observing you, as also noted by The Family Studies Journal of India. When you demonstrate humility and gratitude in your own actions, it also teaches them these values.

• Speak respectfully about others, regardless of their background or social status.
• Acknowledge your own mistakes and show them how to take responsibility.
• Share stories about your own struggles or challenges to help them understand that success takes effort.

Tip: Avoid boasting about material possessions or achievements in front of your children.

The constant barrage of advertisements and social media can amplify material desires in children.

• Monitor their screen time and discuss the difference between wants created by advertising and genuine needs.
• Teach them about budgeting and mindful spending as they grow older.
• Encourage simple joys, like playing outdoors, reading, or creative activities, instead of focusing on expensive toys or gadgets.

Tip: Organise tech-free family days to reduce dependency on digital influences.

Understanding money and its value is a key step in avoiding entitlement. The Reserve Bank of India emphasizes the need for early financial literacy education among children.

• Introduce them to the concept of earning and saving through allowances or small chores.
• Teach them how to budget and prioritize spending.
• Explain that money is earned through effort and isn’t an unlimited resource.

Tip: Encourage them to donate a small portion of their pocket money to a cause they care about.

When children are overly dependent on their parents, they may develop a sense of entitlement. Encouraging them to solve problems on their own will build resilience and independence, according to The Indian Association of Clinical Psychologists.

• Give them the opportunity to make decisions and face the consequences of those decisions.
• Let them handle minor challenges, like resolving a disagreement with a friend or completing homework without constant reminders.
• Praise their efforts when they find solutions independently.

Tip: Step back and allow them to experience and learn from failure.

Focusing on family traditions and community ties helps children see beyond themselves.

• Involve them in family activities that highlight togetherness, such as cooking meals, celebrating festivals, or visiting relatives.
• Participate in community events or service projects as a family.
• Share family stories that emphasize resilience, hard work, and kindness.

Tip: Create rituals, like weekly family meetings or gratitude circles, to reinforce shared values.

Raising children without a sense of privilege is about fostering gratitude, empathy, and responsibility while helping them understand the value of hard work.