Happy birthday Vir Das: 6 incredible jokes by the comedian

1. "If I had to pick a book, it will have to be the largest selling fiction in the history of India. Yes, it's our national newspaper in English."

2. "There are four main vedas, underneath there are 209 sub-vedas. Our first book is 213 books. there is 1 Bible, 1 Quran. Buddhists just have a tree and a pamphlet, that's it."

3. "Old Monk was launched in 1954. It takes 7 years to age a batch of Old Monk. Which means we started making old Monk in 1947. Which means the British left and we were like "SHOTS!""

4. "We had our own weekly cartoon on television, with the best opening song ever, "Jungle jungle pata chala hai, chaddhi pehen ke phool khila hai". I don't know what is growing inside your underwear, but if it resembles horticulture, call a doctor right now."

5. "I think it's beautiful that you (foreigners) come to India to find yourself because Indians, we go abroad and hope nobody finds us at all. Including our own families."

6. "I don't have a Mother Teresa joke. It's hard to write a joke about her. She's too nice. She helped the lepers and the homeless and the needy. I guess what I'm trying to say is, when it comes to comedy, Mother Teresa is untouchable."