Rishi Sunak says children should not say “please” or “thank you” to AI

Rishi Sunak sparks debate on teaching children politeness with AI

Former UK prime minister Rishi Sunak has sparked an unexpected debate about manners, technology, and parenting after saying he tells his daughters not to say “please” or “thank you” when talking to AI chatbots. His reasoning was blunt and practical. AI is not human, he said, and polite words only add to computing load without actually serving any purpose.

The comment, shared widely after appearing in media interviews and social media snippets, immediately split opinion. Some saw it as a refreshingly honest take from a former leader who understands how technology works. Others felt uneasy about the idea of teaching children to drop basic manners, even when interacting with machines.

Sunak’s argument rests on a technical point. Large language models process every word a user types. From that perspective, adding extra phrases that do not change the instruction does increase computation, even if the impact of one person saying “please” is tiny. His view reflects a common mindset among engineers who prioritise efficiency and clarity over social rituals.

But his daughters’ response, shared by Sunak himself, captured why the issue is much more than just about technology. Apparently, they told him: what if AI takes over the world? It might be wise to stay polite to it in such a scenario.

The joke landed because it points to a deeper concern. How we speak to machines may shape how we speak to people, especially for children who are still learning social norms.

Child psychologists and education experts have been discussing this more seriously as AI tools become part of everyday life. For younger users, habits form quickly. If children get used to issuing blunt commands all day, some worry that tone could spill over into human interactions. Others argue the opposite. Children are capable of understanding context, and most already know the difference between talking to a device and talking to a person.

There is also a cultural angle. Politeness is not just about efficiency. It is about values, empathy, and how societies choose to behave, even when there is no immediate reward. Saying “please” to a chatbot may be unnecessary from a technical standpoint, but some parents see it as reinforcing kindness rather than wasting energy.

Tech companies themselves have been cautious. Many AI systems are designed to respond politely regardless of how they are addressed, partly to model respectful interaction. This is less about the machine’s feelings and more about the user’s behaviour.

Sunak’s comment, intended as a light observation, has opened a useful conversation. As AI becomes more embedded in daily life, families are being forced to decide what rules apply. The question is not really about saving computer power. It is about what we want children to learn when no human is on the other side of the screen.