SME leaders must be aware of narcissism and toxicity

Collaboration is essential for running organisations like SMEs.

In these columns earlier, we have spoken often about the desirable leadership traits for SME leaders in the post-pandemic work world. There are some underlying characteristics that can influence leadership styles. There is a lot of talk and trolls in social media about narcissism nowadays. In particular, there are many fingers pointing towards the Millennials and Gen-Z as they are exhibiting more narcissistic behaviour with too much focus on selfies, sense of entitlement and so in.

Narcissism by itself is just an attribute that can vary over a wide range. As is well known, it originated from the ancient Greek mythology of Narcissus, who fell in love with his own image and died starving since his image was unable to reciprocate it. This syndrome has been attributed to the many processes that have a bearing on leadership. Several studies have suggested that the level of narcissism has increased over time and has become an influential aspect of modern-day living.

On the narcissism scale, those at the top end are arrogant, overconfident, self-entitled and combative. They constantly seek limelight and want not just attention but adulation from others.  There are many famous examples of such leaders in today’s India.

At the lower end of the spectrum, the person may lack conviction and self-confidence, and could be very timid. In small doses, it can actually be healthy as it is positively associated with gregariousness and self-preservation.

Like many other human traits, a moderate measure of narcissism may be helpful. For entrepreneurs, it augurs well in healthy doses as it fits well with risk taking and accepting challenges, which are part of embarking on this journey. It gives great self-confidence, charisma, and ability to create good first impressions. It gives a swag or presence, which is helpful. However, overuse of this can be very toxic to the business and all connected stakeholders, often giving them mental trauma. It will be worse when it comes to a country level.

What are some of the defining features? People who are extremely high on narcissism may exhibit many of the following tendencies:

Grandiosity:  Exaggerated sense of self-importance, achievement, and ability, and preoccupation with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty, highly exaggerated sense of self-importance, and delusions of grandeur. Living in a make-believe world of their own is the manifestation of this aspect.

Relentless self-promotion: They have a need for constant adulation. Look at the front pages of leading dailies to get an idea. Absence of praise and admiration is seen as a sign to gaslight others. They do that by using various sources to cast doubts on others’ perspectives and reality, often by twisting facts or insisting things you remember did not actually happen. Showing off is more important than any actual achievement.

Entitlement mentality: They believe they are special and born to do great things. This makes them oblivious, and in extreme cases, disconnected from ground reality

Victimhood: Narcissists expect disproportionate returns from their investment of time. When they do not get what they want, they lack self-reflection and blame others. Blame shifting, sabotage, vilification of others and sarcasm are the tools they use in the process. The actual victims at the receiving end endure manipulative behaviours and are expected to show obedience and admiration (or, at least flattery).

Manipulation: The narcissists will try to pull a third person into the conflict, typically to reinforce their own opinion or position. They will often twist facts or insist historic events didn’t happen the way you understand them. Frequent demeaning, trolling, intimidating, bullying, or belittling others is a common associated behaviour. Narcissists have amazing capabilities to manipulate others for their own benefit.

What are the antidotes? How can leaders minimise the adverse impact of narcissism? (Remember, in controlled doses, narcissism can be productive).

- Aware that team interactions are not competitions. Collaboration is essential for running organisations like SMEs. Letting your utter conviction in your invincibility run riot is not conducive to the business. The belief has to change to “Let the best idea win instead of the best man.” Don’t look at it as a win-lose proposition. There has to be some give and take to make it a win-win proposition. Even today, in an increasingly narcissistic world, laughing at one’s own follies, even if occasionally, can help.

- Use the confidence to motivate others. This means that one needs to be aware of cues on whether the other person is getting intimidated. The difference lies in respecting others and acknowledging them genuinely.

Studies have shown that the narcissistic tendency is more in men than in women. Women owners, however, are just 13 percent among SMEs in India.