Relationship expert shares tips on how to balance intimacy and independence after living alone for years

After years of living solo, sharing your life again can feel tricky. Here’s how to open up to love while keeping your independence and sense of self. (Image: Pexels)

After years of living a solo life, what happens when you want to share it? Putting you career goals on top of your list and making yourself a priority helps you built a life that runs smoothly on your own. You wake up when you like, make your own choices, and enjoy your peace. But what if one day, you start thinking, maybe it would be nice to share all this with someone?

It sounds simple, but when you’ve been independent for years, letting someone in can stir mixed feelings; excitement, fear, even confusion. Deepti Chandy, COO and therapist, Anna Chandy & Associates explains to Moneycontrol, “When independence becomes part of who you are, allowing another person in can feel like a big change, even when you really want it.”

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Speaking about why  it feels strange to let someone in, Chandy says, “When you live alone or handle life on your own for a long time, you get used to it. You learn to depend on yourself and find comfort in your own routines. Over time, this independence becomes your safety zone.” She further adds, So, when someone new enters the picture, it might feel like they’re stepping into your carefully built world. “That doesn’t mean you’re not ready, it just means your mind and heart are adjusting. It’s not about giving up your independence,” say Chandy, “it’s about making space for someone else without losing what grounds you.”

Chandy shares tips on how to open your heart without losing yourself: Many people think being in love means doing everything together. But true closeness doesn’t mean being joined at the hip. You can love deeply and still have your own space.

Here are a few simple ways to keep your balance:

• Stay connected to yourself. Keep up with your hobbies and friends.
• Give each other breathing room. Space helps love grow stronger.
• Remember who you are. A good relationship adds to your life — it doesn’t replace it.

Also Read: Why is Gen Z soft launching their relationships on social media

Here are small steps to build trust and closeness: 

If you’ve been on your own for a while, it’s natural to feel unsure about opening up. Start by being honest about how you feel. Talk to your partner, or even a counsellor. “When you name what feels hard, it loses some of its power,” the experts remind us. Try creating small shared moments, morning coffee, a short walk, or cooking a meal together. These simple routines help rebuild warmth and trust in an easy, natural way. Letting someone in after years alone isn’t about losing freedom, it’s about sharing your life in a new way.