Is eggshell parenting useful or harmful? Top child psychologist offers answers for every parent

Eggshell parents don’t deliberately step on their children’s toes. In fact, many of them come from emotionally erratic or high-pressure childhoods themselves and aim to provide something better (Image: Pexels)

Parenting has never been an easy road, and considering how the world today adds more layers of pressure than ever, many parents don’t want their kids to feel bad or sad or disappointed. They want to make the world safe and predictable and that desire can unintentionally contribute to what psychologists call eggshell parenting.

This parenting style is characterised by being easily overwhelmed and highly reactive when plans or expectations don’t go as expected. Kids in such environments learn to try to “tiptoe” around emotions, never knowing when the tension might spin out of control.

Eggshell parents don’t deliberately step on their children’s toes. In fact, many of them come from emotionally erratic or high-pressure childhoods themselves and aim to provide something better.

Also read | Parenting tips: 8 essential life skills that must be taught from an early age

Delhi-based child-behaviour specialist and Psychologist Dr Himani Khurrana says families should work to build emotional resilience with honesty in communication and consistency in response.

Emotional outbursts shape behaviour

Kids learn quickly, whether it is anger or emotional instability. Even if the reactions are short lived, responding to the unexpected ones can make people conceal missteps or emotions rather than forge genuine connections.

Constant control reduces confidence

Our responsibility as parents is ultimately to prepare our children to be independent adults and replace us. A child who makes their own decisions about which snack they can have on a given day learns how to make other choices, too. Excessive control over every aspect of a child’s life — their choices, friendships, routines — may discourage them from gaining autonomy.  Kids build confidence by making decisions and learning from the results.

Also read | Child psychologist shares 7 gentle parenting tips that can definitely make the difference

Perfectionism creates pressure

Eggshell parents tend to have unrealistic expectations from a fear of failing. This pattern is internalized by generations of children, who may feel that their value lies in performance and not effort or character.

Apologies become avoidance, not healing

Apologising over and over without modifying behaviour can confuse children. Growth is not in apologising after days of screaming. Instead, it’s in consistent emotional regulation day to day.

Children internalize needs to be hidden

Children become people-pleasers when they are afraid of producing stress for their parents. It’s possible they’re holding in emotion — and that may back up into feelings of anxiety or an inability to advocate for themselves later in life.

Parents become emotionally depleted

Living on emotional eggshells is not only hard for kids — parents are exhausted, guilty and overwhelmed too. Learning self-care and asking for support can help you break this cycle.

Calm, predictable responses build trust

The most potent transformation consists of predictable reactions — listening before talking back, delaying judgment before correcting and validating feelings before problem-solving. Children thrive when they feel emotionally secure.

Disclaimer: This article, including health and fitness advice, only provides generic information. Don’t treat it as a substitute for qualified medical opinion. Always consult a specialist for specific health diagnosis.