Word of the Day: Limerence

• Limerence is a deep emotional fixation marked by intrusive thoughts and longing
• It differs from love, thriving on uncertainty and imagined possibilities
• Limerence often occurs without a real relationship and can feel overwhelming

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There is a word, drawn not from poetry but from psychology, that gives a name to a feeling many people experience yet struggle to explain. The word is limerence.

Origin and Pronunciation

The term was introduced in the late twentieth century by psychologist Dorothy Tennov. It does not come from ancient Latin or Greek, but from modern research into human attachment. It is pronounced LIM-uh-rens, with a clear, steady rhythm that mirrors its direct meaning.

Limerence Meaning: An Intense State of Infatuation

At its core, limerence refers to a state of deep emotional fixation on another person. It is marked by intrusive thoughts, a strong desire for emotional return, and a heightened sensitivity to how the other person behaves. Unlike ordinary attraction, limerence can dominate attention and mood, often without a balanced understanding of the other person.

It is important to note that limerence is not the same as love. Love tends to grow with familiarity, care, and mutual understanding. Limerence, by contrast, often thrives on uncertainty. It feeds on hope, mixed signals, and imagined possibilities rather than shared reality.

Key Features of Limerence

People experiencing limerence may replay conversations repeatedly, search for meaning in small gestures, or feel sudden highs and lows depending on perceived responses. The focus is not only on wanting the person, but on needing reassurance that the feeling is returned. This need can feel urgent and consuming.

Limerence can occur whether or not a real relationship exists. In many cases, it develops around someone who is unavailable, distant, or only loosely connected to the person experiencing it.

Usage in Everyday Life

Limerence explains why a person may feel unable to move on despite knowing a situation is unlikely to change. It helps make sense of intense crushes that feel overwhelming and difficult to control. In everyday language, it appears when someone says they cannot stop thinking about another person, even when it brings more distress than comfort.