Techie quits Rs 3 crore pa Meta job after having panic attacks: 'I ignored it, but it got worse'

The techie had chosen to work with Meta after rejecting an offer from Google. (File photo)

Eric Yu, 28, had his first panic attack while at work. The software engineer with Meta remembers his heart beating really fast and a ringing in his ears. By then, Yu had been working long hours developing codes even on weekends. It was only after the panic attack that he realised that he needed to quit.

The realisation came as a surprise even to Yu who had chosen to work with Meta after rejecting an offer from Google.

"Landing job offers like these had been a huge goal of mine. I worked hard during school, and it seemed like I finally had my life figured out. But I was pretty torn between Facebook and Google. At the time, Facebook seemed more like a startup and less 'corporate' than Google. I also preferred its campus more, so I chose Facebook," Yu told Business Insider.

Explaining why he felt a lot of pressure during his time at Meta, he said that the tech giant has a pretty high bar when it comes to code quality, and the code reviews were tough with limited scope for constructive criticism.

"There was some tension at times, and I received tough feedback on how to fix the code after numerous reviews. It sometimes left me feeling bad," he told the publication. "In my opinion, there's a constructive way to give feedback: 'Hey, I like the attempt you made here, and there might be opportunities to improve in this way.' But some engineers at Meta lacked tact and nuance: 'This is really bad. You shouldn't have written it like this.' This kind of feedback makes it sound like this is a black-and-white issue, and it often overlooks the emotional aspect of communication."

Meta also has an internal rating system for coders which is visible to all other software engineers. So whenever Yu, rating dropped, the thought that others would think poorly of him made him work harder and longer, eventually culminating in a panic attack.

"In November 2019, I experienced my first panic attack while I was working from home. It was around 4 pm, and my left pinky went completely numb. At first, I ignored it, but it got worse: An hour in, my ears were ringing, and my heart was beating really fast," Yu told Business Insider. "I was zoning out and felt intense thoughts. It felt like a water dam — like if too much water pushed against it, it might break, and all the water would pour out. The more I tried to block my feelings away, the more it felt like bursting out all at once. Fortunately, my girlfriend Wanda (now my fiancée) was there and recognised it as a panic attack."

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Post this wake-up call, Yu and Wanda decided to look up different avenues of income, eventually settling for trying their luck with real estate. The gamble paid off and Yu quit Meta in 2022.

"I know it sounds crazy to leave a $370,000 (Rs 3 crore) job, and staying at Meta for the rest of my life would have ensured financial security, but I knew it wasn't right for me," he said. "The experience was underwhelming. I was at home and didn't see my coworkers in person; there was no farewell party or formal goodbye. After my last meeting, I closed my laptop and felt relieved: 'Wow, I'm done'."

Currently, real estate isn't the endgame for Yu but he said it's giving him the time and resources to figure out what he wants to focus on long-term.

Read more: World Mental Health Day: History, significance and theme for 2023