Recognise that you are fallible, but don't be too harsh on yourself

Employees can tell when trust-building exercises are “manipulative” in nature – geared towards getting things done, and not genuinely invested in a “spirit of camaraderie”, warns Hardayal Singh in 'The Moral Compass'.

Hardayal Singh, who joined the Indian Revenue Service (IRS) in 1970, has thought deeply about ethical living, integrity and decision making – themes built into his new book The Moral Compass: Finding Balance and Purpose in an Imperfect World (HarperCollins India, 2022).

His observations come from life experiences and a rich professional background, including top leadership positions with the Central Vigilance Commission and the Central Board of Direct Taxes apart from being Chief Commissioner of Income-Tax in New Delhi and Ombudsman to the Income Tax department in Mumbai.

We bring you six key takeaways from this book:

1. Appreciate the people whom you depend on.

Singh points out that people in power ought to realize that they “cannot achieve organizational goals alone”. Their success is not the result of their brilliance alone; it is linked to the capability, motivation and performance of their colleagues. He writes, “In fact, the higher they travel in the hierarchy, the greater is their dependence on other people.” According to Singh, these subordinates are likely to offer their best if the leader conveys the impression of being one among them rather than “some remote, distant and aloof figure”.

2. Be open to ideas from your subordinates.

Singh writes that leaders who believe that they know it all “deny themselves valuable inputs” because of their arrogance. Such leaders could “end up making bad decisions” with “disastrous consequences” for everyone in the organization, and also their families. He suggests that being open to ideas can empower leaders to deal with unforeseen situations as they practise a “participative rather than dogmatic style of decision-making”.

3. Develop humility along with your self-esteem.

Singh writes, “Humility may help build powerful relationships in organizations. Even the most adversarial relationships soften when one brings in some sincerity and humility to the table.” He has observed that successful corporate leaders “confidently consult with others when they see others know more than them”. Acknowledging knowledge gaps does not diminish their self-esteem. They are “calmly, serenely happy with their achievements, without feeling that they are less or more than others”. There is an internal sense of security.

4. Build trust if you want people to cooperate.

The author writes, “One of the banes of modern times is the mistrust that permeates most societies. It is hard to be humble in a world where fierce competition drives dog to eat dog and where any sign of listening to others may possibly be perceived as a sign of weakness.” Despite the initial mistrust, people are willing to cooperate with each other when they are working towards a common goal. For this to happen, an environment of trust has to be nurtured. Employees can tell when trust-building exercises are “manipulative” in nature – geared towards getting things done, and not genuinely invested in a “spirit of camaraderie”.

5. Recognise that you are fallible.

It can be tough for leaders to admit that they have made a wrong decision because their pride is at stake. Singh asks them to “recognize that as human beings we are fallible and can make mistakes.” This does not mean shying away from taking responsibility. It simply means not being too harsh on oneself, and also learning to “become more tolerant of others’ mistakes”. Associated with this is the idea that every choice comes with a cost. One cannot escape consequences but one cannot refuse to act either. He writes, “This kind of dilemma is typical of our times…characterized by moral ambiguities and uncertainties. People find it much more difficult now than ever before to distinguish right from wrong and good from evil.”

6. Break the chain of hurt.

Singh notes that a lot of people suffer because they hold tightly to their anger. This is a common occurrence in workplaces. He writes, “When somebody is unfair to us, we get hurt. This pain creates anger. Anger creates in us a desire to take revenge. Here, we lose our power of discretion.” Fortunately, there is a way out of this harmful behaviour pattern – forgiveness. He offers a number of ideas for healing and letting go, including meditation, writing a letter to “the offending party” and then tearing it up, revisiting the hurtful incident by narrating it in front of a mirror and approaching it from “a balanced perspective”. Why should one forgive? He explains, “If we forgive those who have harmed us, life in turn forgives all the hurts we have caused others. Otherwise, we apportion blame and end up as frustrated individuals.”