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Healing Space | Uh oh, are you binge shopping again?

During a festive sale, you could overextend and regret it later. Why you give into the euphoria of shopping and how to rein it in.

October 13, 2023 / 12:41 IST
Sales are devious in the sense that they play tricks on your mind. You would not drop that amount as easily if the items weren’t on sale. (Illustration by Suneesh K.)

Note to readers: Healing Space is a weekly series that helps you dive into your mental health and take charge of your wellbeing through practical DIY self-care methods.

Binge shopping can be heavily triggered by festive sales. And those are everywhere these days. The algorithms are designed to get you hooked through pop-ups that interest you, perhaps you have searched for those items before, and lead you down the rabbit hole by showing you similar items, or accessories. Soon enough, hours have passed, and you have the equivalent of your annual salary in your shopping cart.

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Sales are devious in the sense that they play tricks on your mind. You would not drop that amount as easily if it weren’t on sale. Very few of us buy essentials in a sale. It’s often items we wouldn’t necessarily need at that moment. We tell ourselves we are being financially virtuous by buying things we don’t need in advance. How many of us have trousers with their tags still on in the cupboard, waiting for the day when we will lose weight or have an important presentation. So, in that sense, it isn’t really a saving for you.

Online sales also make it look easy, unlike an afternoon of shopping when you’d have to walk from store to store with aching feet and complaining spouses and kids, to look at, try on, and think about buying the equivalent number of items. By making it easier to do, they also make it easier to spend.

Compulsive shopping, impulse buys and binge shopping, i.e., buying on the notional sense of need rather than any actual urgency, without stopping to consider the purchase, and accumulating items from site after site, are signs you are in trouble. These can get you into overextending your credit, a debt trap, or even a hoarding habit. They also signal that you are not really shopping out of tangible need but out of an emotional one. Just as sometimes we eat meals not out of hunger, but to avoid our feelings, we can also binge shop in the same way.

Shopping that arrives in the form of parcels at the door can trigger dopamine hits each time we unpack them, though we may know exactly what is in them. You can liken it to receiving a gift, only this one is from yourself. But because it was shopped online and forgotten about as you went about your day and work, you can feel an element of pleasant surprise when you receive it. This is a trigger that makes you crave the sensation again and again. This has the potential to be a full-blown addiction if you keep feeding the feeling. Sometimes, this behaviour has more to do with loneliness, lack of self-esteem, feeling like you don’t fit in, feeling socially isolated or having an unrealistic sense of what one can practically afford. And it is more useful to spend the money addressing these emotional concerns therapeutically than hiding them under layers of clothes or gadgets.

People who amplify the compulsive shopping habit can end up in debt, hide their purchases from family members, trigger an insatiable need to have access to the next new and trendy item, and become jittery or anxious when they can’t indulge the whim.

Typically, compulsive shoppers also end up with buyer’s remorse, the regret of having bought more than they meant to. You can get into a defensive mode, justifying the debt or purchase by rationalizing how you may need it in the future, how it’s sensible to buy when you don’t need it yet, how your work life or social life demands it, etc. This is actually often the start of yet another vicious cycle in which you buy something else to soothe the negative feelings that emerge from the previous purchase.

It's important to keep track of your buying habits as much as you would a budget or a diet plan or exercise plan. Keeping a shopping diary will help you track your patterns. Also note when something major happened, like an argument with a partner, if a supervisor belittled you, or a social interaction left you feeling deeply inadequate and whether those resulted in any corresponding shopping. This will enable you to understand how and when you take to shopping as a cure for anything other than a legitimate need.

How to use a sale sensibly

1. Make a list of items that you actually need before the sale. Be as specific as you can.

2. Do not click on similar items or accessories that you hadn’t already considered.

3. Try and do it with a shopping buddy, someone who will regulate your spending.

4. As with investments, set a stop loss. Exit when you hit the target. Cap the loss.

5. Try and use the sale more for discounts on essentials, such as groceries.

Gayatri is a mind body spirit therapist and author of Ela’s Unfinished Business (Harper Collins, July 2023), among other books. Views expressed are personal.
first published: Oct 13, 2023 12:07 pm

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