Healing Space | Men who hate women harm themselves

Hostile feelings against women are a significant clinical indicator of depression, anxiety and stress across all genders. (Illustration by Suneesh K.)

Note to readers: Healing Space is a weekly series that helps you dive into your mental health and take charge of your wellbeing through practical DIY self-care methods.

Misogyny, or broadly, an opposition to women determined by sexist behaviours such as considering them weaker, less powerful or less worthy of respect and equal treatment, or fit for objectification and commodification, is an indicator of poor mental health according to research.

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Studies led by Joel Wong, associate professor at the Indiana University Bloomington, and published in the Journal of Counselling Psychology in 2016, analysed research that covered 19,000 men over a period of 11 years and found that specific behaviours – playboy behaviour, sexual promiscuity, power over women, and self-reliance (for example, an inability to work on a team with women, collaborate with women or ask a woman for instructions or directions) are linked to substance abuse and/or depression and other mental health disorders. Men exhibiting such sexist traits are also the least likely to seek mental health support (not least because a great majority of mental health practitioners are female).

On the receiving end, research conducted by the University College of London and published in Health Psychology in 2019 looked at 3,000 women over a period of four years and found that one in five women report sex discrimination and end up with an impact on their mental health because of it. Women who felt unsafe, avoided specific locations where they feared sexist attacks, being insulted or physically groped or molested, were found to report three times the levels of depression than those who hadn’t. They had lesser life satisfaction and poorer well being. People perceived sexual discrimination in the streets, in public transport, in schools and workplaces as well as within homes.

Misogynistic behaviour is impacting society in wide-reaching ways, affecting everyone it is inflicted on. It is important to understand and educate against it not simply because it makes for a more equal society but because it makes for a mentally healthier one. Research shows repeatedly that the origin of sexist beliefs is again related to poor mental health. Rigid adherence to archaic gender roles is a result of poor psychological health. Benevolent sexism, a condescension towards women, is a result of stress and anxiety in men and produces more anxiety in women (Nicholas Borgogna, Social Science Journal, 05/10/2020). Hostile feelings against women are a significant clinical indicator of depression, anxiety and stress across all genders.

For women, apart from bearing the brunt of sexist beliefs, there is the further burden of internalizing misogyny. Having witnessed and been groomed by hostile environments, many women often find it hard to believe better of themselves, actualize their dreams and ambitions, negotiate pay raises or ask for social justice for themselves. They find it hard to recognize or call out the everyday casual sexism they have to put up with and they end up taking a secondary role out of an inward turning self-hatred and poor self-esteem.

Numbness towards explicit misogyny, such as viewing repeated examples of extreme misogyny as played out in conflict zones, with the Yazidi women, or in the cases emerging from the Manipur violence, or even the consternation shown at a woman choosing a partner based on practical concerns such as salary and job prospects, is also a sign of internalized misogyny. When we look past such incidents, forget them in a couple of days and go back to our normal lives, we are accepting a world that is hostile to women. For women it stirs up anxiety and can create sadness and fear, and exaggerate self-protective behaviours (like being unable to sleep because one is unsure if one has locked the doors). It is important that such anxieties are not dismissed as women being ‘sensitive’ or ‘emotional’ but rather used as an opportunity to identify and address sexist behaviours around.

How to address misogyny in your environment

- Do not dismiss a response to sexism as being emotional or hypersensitive.

- If you don’t understand why a behaviour is sexist, ask a woman why they feel so.

- Understand the anxieties and fears or sadness it stirs up. Address the emotion.

- Do not display or re-post social media messages that are disturbing and triggering to women. You can address the concern without spreading the misogyny.

- Be reassuring, not combative. Attempt to make the space safe and inclusive.