‘Take her, give me the cow': Man's shocking deal with wife's lover goes viral. Watch

A video of the ceremony has since gone viral on social media. According to local reports, the husband calmly participated in the ceremonial handover. (Image credit: @asfan_warah/X)

A startling incident from the North Konawe district in Indonesia’s Southeast Sulawesi province has caught international attention. In a traditional ceremony, a husband handed over his wife to her lover in exchange for a cow, a kettle, and some cash, a decision made, he claimed, to settle the matter peacefully.

The exchange took place under the customs of the Tolaki tribe, through a ritual known as Mowe Sarapu or Mosehe, which translates to “hand over and let go”.

A video of the ceremony has since gone viral on social media, prompting widespread debate: is this an act of preserving honour or a clear violation of women’s rights?

A man in Konawe, SE Sulawesi, caught his wife cheating, then handed her over to her lover through a Tolaki traditional ceremony called Mosehe.
The lover gave 1 cow, ritual items, and Rp5 million as atonement.
In tears, the husband said:

“I divorce you. I hand you over to him.… pic.twitter.com/maXZ5bWsU4

— Hasbi (@asfan_warah) October 4, 2025

Wife swapped for cow
According to local reports, the husband calmly participated in the ceremonial handover. His wife, dressed in traditional attire resembling a saree, stood beside her smiling lover, who presented a healthy cow as part of the exchange. The ritual was witnessed by family members and local villagers.

The husband later explained that the decision was made to protect the honour of both families. The affair, he said, began only a few months after the couple’s wedding. The lover had approached the husband with an offer: “Give me your wife, and I will give you a cow in return.” The husband agreed and arranged for the pair to be married the very next day.

This ritual, according to the Tolaki community, is intended to resolve marital disputes without violence. Traditionally, the man receiving the wife offers compensation in the form of livestock, household items, or money.

In this particular case, the lover gave a cow, a steel kettle, and 500,000 Indonesian rupiah (roughly Rs 2,500). The wife also gave her consent, stating that she was genuinely in love with her new partner.

The husband added, “I chose peace over revenge. Now, all three of us are happy.”

Public reaction and controversy
The video has amassed millions of views online, with netizens reacting strongly. While some applauded the husband’s apparent maturity, calling him “a true man who respects others,” many condemned the ritual.

Women’s rights groups, including the Indonesian feminist organisation Perempuan, criticised the practice, arguing that it objectifies women and perpetuates gender inequality.

Legal experts and activists have stressed the need to align traditional customs with modern human rights frameworks, noting that while Indonesia’s constitution grants equal rights to women, such tribal rituals still prevail in remote and rural areas.