The Holi in our stars

(Representational image) While Librans won't know whether they'll be joining in the celebration till the morning of Holi, Cancer, Scorpion and Pisces will be in their element.

Pick up your pichkari, Holi is here! But as you dodge water balloons and sprinklers, know that your zodiac sign colours your festival mood.

Water signs Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces will be in their element, literally H2O. As gallons of coloured water wash over them, their reply to every dunking is a suave ‘glub’. Scorpios will secretly note that one person who did not wish them, Pisceans will sweetly thank even those who haven’t wished them and Cancerians can’t wait to go home and narrate it all to mommy. They aim water pistols like there are real bullets in them.

Air signs Gemini, Libra, Aquarius will hem and haw when Holi plans are being made. Either they jump in with voluble suggestions of when and where, or say they will sleep in.

Geminis will make everyone mother-promise they will be there bright and early, only to forget time and place. He will have to be roused from deep sleep and his stubble will injure all those who smear gulal on his face. But once he is in, he is in. He will acrobatically chase down each and every one with colour in both fists; there was a circus named after him.

Librans are not sure till the festival morning, having gone to sleep determined against playing this year and then waking up completely ready for a soaking. Anyone who says, ‘so you decided to come after all?’ gets a dirty look.

Aquarians arrive at venue armed with homemade never-before-seen material to play with. For them everything is a start-up, even fun.

Earth signs Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn land up with grim commitment; when asked if they'd play, they say ‘I do’ like a wedding vow.

Taureans start slow, going ‘duh’ each time someone gregariously drenches them in purple or pink, but they are the proverbial bull in a china shop, playing Holi long after everyone has left.

Virgos politely dab others and come equipped with tissues. All the while they are saying ‘Holi hai’, they are fantasising about a long bath. The pleasure of getting squeaky clean is doubled on this day and drives them quite mad!

Capricorns know the price of each brand of colour and source it for everyone. When everyone breaks out in a rash the next day, they also know a dermatologist who will treat two for the price of one.

Fire signs Aries, Leo and Sagittarius will hold hands with partner, fall in love or propose marriage on this day. With some bhang pakoras inside them, they can manage to do all three with three different people at the same time.

Aries is Romeo, Sagittarius is Juliet, and Holi their balcony scene. Leos are always Heathcliff – from Wuthering Heights, not the cartoon cat – flamboyantly professing love. The fault in their stars, as Shakespeare and John Green always say.

While fire signs are the tipsy Amitabh Bachchan of the Rang Barse song, earth signs are a Sanjeev Kumar sturdily finishing the lyrics come what may; water signs are Jaya Bachchan quietly absorbing it all even as air signs continue to dance like a Rekha.