Funnycontrol on Valentine’s Day: A love letter to Supari Exchange Board of India (SEBI)

Representational image. (Photo: Wolfgang Hasselmann via Unsplash)

This Valentine’s Day, I wish to declare my love for you is greater than the love you have for the National Spiritual Exchange of India (NSE). For you truly know how to forgive and forget. You painted such a wonderful chitra of the NSE in your investigations that even the Supari Appellate Tribunal (SAT) has fallen in love. Like a true lover, you have taken all the blame upon yourself for the soured relationship. So complete is your love and faith that you asked the NSE itself to conduct the investigation into itself. You truly live up to the adage, “All is fair in love and conflict of interest”. But just like lovers have to surrender to the pressure of society, perhaps, you had to succumb to the pressure of Parliament with “Lawmakers nahin maanenge”. I can imagine how much it must have pained you to put your love through the appearance of an impartial investigation, a lot like when King Dasharatha had to ask Lord Rama to go into exile in the forest. But, perhaps, you also hoped for a triumphant return after a short vanvaas from the markets.

This Valentine’s Day, we were being encouraged to hug cows even as bulls and bears smash each other in the markets on a daily basis. Perhaps, inspired by you, I will also follow the path of peace and not “add a knee” in this fight. In this week of love poems and ballads, even the former chief poet of the NSE, Mr Kavi Narain has been blessed by your (in)acts of love. He is now freed from your reluctantly applied disgorgement order to surrender illegal gains made from illegal poetry in the markets. He has written this Valentine’s Day poem in honour of your love.

I can now gorge on all the mithai

Of my poetic kamai

And her chitra

Let’s all hear it for Mr Kavi Narain. Note that he is a slam poet so you must only snap your fingers in appreciation or else his supporters in the Finance Ministry of Love will snap your fingers. Remember our beloved Supari Exchange board has also been involved in another romantic film in 2009 called “Satyam, Shivam, Son andaram”. There also the son was banned for 14 years vanvaas from the markets. So, perhaps, our beloved board has a special love for Indian mythology as well. This aligns perfectly with their love for spiritual exchanges. But in this battle of the sons, we are missing out the love for the High Father who is not even being acknowledged in this regulatory love affair. Mr Rig Yajur Suma as named by SEBI’s love letter in February 2022.  Perhaps, he is truly a romantic and believes in playing secret admirer. Sending secret loves messages from his email ID.  Mr Suma, I hope whenever you read your name in my column Funnycontrol, you are also filled with love for me in this love-filled season. Even if that love is expressed in the form of a supari in my name