Loose Canon: The Mystery of the Missing Poet in the Budget

Citizens with income lesser than Rs 5 lakh were to get full tax rebate which meant that they don’t have to pay taxes. Rebate under section 87A was hiked to Rs 12,500 from Rs 2,500. The amount under standard deduction was also hiked by Rs 10,000 to Rs 50,000 from Rs 40,000.

There is a mystery at the heart of Piyush Goyal’s Budget speech. No, it’s not the one about where the money for all the goodies doled out will come from -- economists will get to the bottom of that soon enough. I am referring to the far more mysterious case of the missing poet.

Everybody who heard the speech knows that towards the end Goyal talked of a poet of Maharashtrian origin who wrote in Hindi. He then went on to quote a couple of lines from this poet which, roughly translated, say ‘I take one step/A thousand paths burst open.’ Yet Goyal, very strangely, did not mention the poet’s name. And what is mystifying is that all references to the poem and the poet are missing from the official transcripts of the speech. What is going on? Why this Operation Whitewash? Who is the mystery poet?

Poets have frequently been quoted in budget speeches, but never have they disappeared from transcripts, nor have their names been withheld. It’s a first-class mystery, worthy of Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot. To solve it, we must exercise what passes for our little grey cells.

Could it be that the finance minister forgot the poet’s name? If so, it’s something he must guard against. You forget a poet’s name today and tomorrow you could forget the name of a far more important personality. Imagine what would happen if he said, ‘our nation, under the visionary leadership of Shri….ummm….ehhh….unhhh…the great man with the white beard….’ And when the entire Parliament shouted ‘Santa Claus’, he would then have to say, ‘No, no….the white-bearded gentleman thumping the desk in the front row’. That would never do.

But as Finance Minister, Goyal has been able to remember perfectly the GDP numbers, which go up and down every couple of months as if they are playing snakes and ladders. That calls for considerable mental dexterity. No, he couldn’t forget the poet’s name.

Could the two lines quoted be a problem? ‘‘I take one step/A thousand paths burst open’ has been widely interpreted as meaning that the farm package will open up a thousand paths to re-election. There’s nothing objectionable about that.

We must find out first who the poet is and all will be revealed.

Could it be Naamdeo Dhasal, the celebrated Marathi poet? But in his poem on New Delhi Dhasal wrote, ‘Your town is cursed with power/Roses flow in this stream of blood.’ He can hardly be the chap we want.

An extreme faction has darkly hinted the poet in question is none other than Goyal, which is why he preferred to remain anonymous. But Goyal is a perfect gentleman and would hardly stoop so low as to inflict his own verses on a helplessly captive audience. No sir, like the GDP numbers, it just doesn’t add up.

Perhaps we should ask the question: what would a modern Holmes do?

He would ask Google, of course. A quick search spills the secret. The poet in question is none other than Gajanan Madhav Muktibodh, whose birth centenary was celebrated with much fanfare in 2017. Thanks to dogged detective work, the missing poet has been found. Elementary, my dear Watson.

Who was this Muktibodh chap and what is so objectionable about him? Wikipedia gives us the all-important clue: it says ‘His work was deeply influenced by his viewpoints of Marxism, Socialism and Existentialism, and carried an innate expression of his deep discontent.’

The game is afoot. At last we are hot on the scent. Marxism and Socialism are bad enough, but Existentialism too? What on earth was Goyal thinking? Thank God he realised his mistake in time and didn’t mention the leftist poet’s name. Why, some future finance minister may start quoting the existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre, who said things like, “One is still what one is going to cease to be and already what one is going to become. One lives one’s death, one dies one’s life” and ‘Nothingness lies coiled in the heart of Being---like a worm.’ Worse, they might also quote the existentialist Martin Heidegger, who said, “Consciousness is a being such that in its being, its being is in question in so far as this being implies a being other than itself."

Imagine what would happen if finance ministers started quoting these guys in Budget speeches -- a third of the people would be plunged into deep depression, another third would riot in the streets demanding a ban on budget speeches, while a canny third would ask for a hefty subsidy to listen to it. And if the budget speech goes, the entire financial system of the country would grind to a shuddering halt. Now we know why the authorities had to nip this whole thing in the bud and remove all traces of Muktibodh from the transcript.

We have, by applying Holmes’ methods, solved the case of the missing poet. As the great detective said, “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”